5 Times You’ll Be Happy You Said No

I don’t know about you but I like when people like me. Okay, I know that doesn’t exactly make me a special unicorn. I think most people have a biological desire to be liked or at least accepted. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be liked, well except for when it causes you to overextend yourself in the never ending task to be a people pleaser.

Let me share with you a quote I’ve had to remind myself constantly throughout the course of my life, “You can please some of the people some of the time but you can’t please all of the people all of the time.”

The second you realize you can’t make everyone happy the happier you will be.

It is perfectly fine to do things with the hope of helping put a smile on someone else’s face but you have to make sure doing so isn’t putting a stop to your goals or stopping your needs from being met.

So how do you decided when to say no? Here are 5 times you should always give yourself permission to say no.

When The Request Makes You Uncomfortable

When they say, “Life happens out of your comfort zone they don’t mean put up with stuff you shouldn’t. This is a particularly complicated one because you everyone has different comfort zones. Someone might ask you to swing by their pot dealers house with the same carefree attitude they might use to ask you to hand them a napkin. A coworker might ask you to clock them back in when they have to take a long lunch and you might not be comfortable with that. Someone may ask to borrow money and you are strongly against lending money to friends. A brand might ask you to write a blog post for a product you don’t actually enjoy. The best way to know when to say know is to know your own values and be clear about what makes you uncomfortable.

When You Don’t Have The Time

We all have a lot on our plates, it’s the way of the world. We are constantly being pulled on or stimulated so sometimes for your own sanity you have to say no. This is very important if you are trying to build a blog/business or side hustle. You can’t say yes to everyone who asks if you’d like to write on their site (especially if they don’t pay). You can’t babysit your friend’s kid if you have a webinar tomorrow to rehearse for and a date tonight. Don’t overextend yourself.  

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure you have your cup taken care of before trying to fill everyone else’s. If you have to say no to someone to make sure you are taken care of never feel bad for that.

Because I’m really feeling the analogies today, here is another, it’s like when you’re flying in a plane, they tell you in the case of an emergency to put your mask on before helping anyone else put on their mask.  How can you be useful to anyone else if you’re sitting there gasping for air?

When You Feel Taken Advantage Of

There is a fine line between doing a friendly favor and being someone’s doormat. “Hey can you give me the number of a residential realtor at your firm” is very different than “Hey will you list my house for me and take a lower fee than you normally would, since we are friends?”

Not everyone asking  you for outlandish favors realizes how much they are asking of you. Often times you will be so good at something or make something look so easy they will assume that is isn’t time-consuming or complicated. I have had people I know in real life ask me about starting a blog and while I don’t mind sharing a few blog posts that helped me or telling them who I host with (Site Ground FTW), or which WordPress plugins I use for certain things but it took me over a month to create the original version of AllTheThingsIDo.com and am constantly spending time to update it as well so, “No, I won’t build your website for you.” I’ll answer a few questions for you, point you in the direction of my favorite tools and courses but people get paid for that sort of thing.

When It Will Cost You

Just like being taken advantage of you should feel free to say no if saying, yes will cost you. If you need to stay home and write some freelance posts for a little extra income perhaps don’t agree to help your friend move that day.  

If you are low on funds and someone asks you for a ride but they never offer you gas money tell them the truth, “I’m trying to save my gas until payday. I’m sorry, I can’t.” They will either offer you gas money or understand.

There are times when you will suffer fiscal loss, time loss, or health loss if you say yes to certain things and you need to recognize those times and know when to say no.

When You Just Don’t Want To

I know what you’re thinking okay it’s one thing to say no to someone when you have a legitimate reason not to go to something but you can’t tell your friends, “I don’t feel like it.” Guess what? You totally can and chances are they do it to you from time to time too, they just make up an excuse.

But guess what else, you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone and sometimes, watching Netflix and ordering pizza will be more appealing than going to Sunday Funday with friends and that’s okay. You don’t want to be the friend who always says no and never wants to do anything fun but when you want to save money or have me time you are totally entitled to it.

Never feel bad for saying no. There is a difference between being a selfish, heartless, self-serving bastard that only thinks about themselves and being a badass boss who knows that life is about taking and giving and you need balance or you might go crazy. The truth of the matter is when you’re open and honest about saying no most people will get it and if they don’t boo on them! 

Saying yes is easy but realizing your needs and standing up for yourself can be hard, just remember it’s your right.

Have their been any times you’re glad you said no? Any times you wanted to, didn’t and wish you had? Tell me in the comments! 

4 Tips For Adding Fitness to Your Life

Today I am excited to share a guest post from my friend Emily over at LifeInSpandex.com. She is seriously kickass and a constant source of motivation. She is that blogger whose blog you read, put down the cookies and go for a run.

Meet Emily

Hi there! My name is Emily. I’m a certified personal trainer working in gym management by day and the founder/blogger at lifeinspandex.com by night. To say my life is busy here in California would be an understatement. But, let’s be real, we’re all busy! Am I right? I get asked a lot about how I balance my career, blog, social life, and fitness without going nuts and still finding the time to clean my apartment. Let me tell you, it’s not easy, but nothing ever worth it is! In a world where we are constantly being pulled in a million directions, how do we make the time for our health?

Before transitioning into the fitness industry, I worked in corporate marketing for 2-years, mainly in digital. It didn’t take long for me to realize my passion for helping others find health was too strong to ignore. So, I managed to acquire my NASM and ACSM personal training certifications all while balancing a full-time job, regular workouts, a social life, and sleep. Yup, it sounds crazy, and it was for a few months. But, it taught me that having balance in your life isn’t necessarily about cutting things out, rather staying organized, on task, and present.  

I get it, when we’re stressed, strapped for time, and overwhelmed the first thing to go is usually exercise. This is because most people see it as a non-necessity. However, this is the furthest thing from the truth! In times of stress, taking care of ourselves is probably the most important task on our to-do list. So, when it feels like there just aren’t enough hours in the day, how do you prioritize fitness while still balancing everything else?

Today, I am sharing with you my top 4 tips for fitting in a sweat session when your schedule is bonkers.

Schedule it in

Just like a meeting at work, doctor’s appointment, or school pick-up, schedule in your workout. You wouldn’t bail last minute on picking up your kids from school or not show up for work. Treat your workout the same way. Sure, at times things may come up. But this should be the exception, not the norm.

 Make it a date

If you know your bestie is waiting for you at the 6am spin class or at the gym after work, you’re less likely to bail. Not only will you have someone to help hold you accountable, it’s always more fun to sweat with a buddy. You get to spend time with your friends and also work up a sweat! Just make sure you aren’t just distracting each other and turning your workout into a social outing. You should help each other stay focused and motivated! Who doesn’t love a cheerleader?

Get it done first thing

I can hear your moans already. Most of us aren’t morning people by nature. Waking up before the sun doesn’t sound appealing to anyone, even me. However, I always like to workout first thing in the morning. For one, it opens up the rest of my day. Get invited to a happy hour after work? Not a problem! Your workout is already done. Second, studies have shown that working out first thing in the morning actually helps you burn more fat all day long! (Even if it’s just 30-minutes of HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) in your living room!)

Find a workout you love

If you hate running, don’t run! If you can’t stand the idea of squatting, don’t squat! In other words, if you try to force yourself into a workout you don’t enjoy, most likely you aren’t going to do it. Try a Zumba or sculpt class, hire a personal trainer for a session or two (some gyms will even offer you one free session), go hike outside, and/or try a workout from lifeinspandex.com. The right workout for you is one you can actually look forward to doing. This way, the hour you spend exercising isn’t something you dread. You may even find it’s the part of the day you look forward to the most! And then you can join me on that crazy train ;). In fact, I consider my workout my “me” time. It helps alleviate stress, calms my mind, and leaves me feeling reenergized. This can be the same for you!

So tell me, do you find it hard to fit in time to workout? Why so? If not, how do you make your workout a priority?

You can find more health and fitness tips and follow Emily’s passion for helping women find a balanced approach to health and fitness on her blog: lifeinspandex.com and on social media  TwitterFacebookPinterestInstagram.

Check out my post on her blog How To Make Time For Fitness When You Aren’t Motivated here.

4 Reasons I Love Todoist

We are all busy! I work a full time job along with my blog and freelancing. That being said, it never fails that when I’m in the thick of it at my day job I have amazing ideas or important thoughts pop up in reference to my blog.
Sometimes I could sit there for two hours and maybe crank out the first draft of one blog post but I’ll be working on Google Adwords for a client and have 3 blog post ideas and remember 2 things I wanted to add on the blog.
It can be a little frustrating when you have so many balls in the air if you don’t have a system to keep things in place. In came Todoist.
My friend Jenn from HomebyJenn.com introduced me to it a while back when we were on a Google Hangout chat. I had never heard of it but in the past month it has totally changed how I organize my to-do list. I’m a huge fan of to-do lists, nothing calms me down when I go into task overload like then a clean list of what all needs to get done (I know talk nerdy to me lol).

What is Todoist?

Todoist is a online to-do app.

4 Reasons I Love Todoist

It’s simple

This is so easy. I’ve attempted to use other apps or scheduling platforms and I just felt like they made things more difficult than they should have. The whole point of a to-do list app is to organize things and make things simpler. That is not the case with a lot of them.
It takes no time at all to input new tasks or mark them complete on todoist.

I can access it from anywhere with

Not only can I access it from my my laptop but there is an app for it on iOS and Android. I can only speak for the android version but I love that the app looks the same on mobile as it does on desktop. There is seriously no learning curve going from one device to the other. I’ve found a lot of websites tend to lose their flow when it comes to the app but Todoist doesn’t let you down. I can add a task when I’m at work on my computer and know it will sync perfectly to my phone.

It helps me prioritize things

For such a clean and self proclaimed distraction free design it allows you to be as detailed as you want in your tasks. You can add tasks to projects, add due dates, set priority filters and create recurring tasks. On the premium version you can add notes to your tasks which I love to use for putting in links for later reference.

It keeps me up to date

If you use the calendar on your phone or computer chances are one a reminder pops up it’s one and done. Todoist keeps incomplete tasks on your to-do list and you get a daily reminder each morning telling you how many tasks you have and how many you might have over-due. This way if you don’t get around to every task you won’t forget to do it the next day.

At only $28.99 a year it is a real steal! That comes down to less than $3.00 a month! For that low of a price why would you not give it a try? There is a free version but the premium is worth the price. You can sign up for it here.

Check out Jenn’s post about how Todoist changed her life: To Do List Zero: How I Was Able to Accomplish It All 

Announcement: The Balanced Side Hustle

If you are looking for even more balance then I have some great news! My e-course: The Balance Side Hustle will be launching November 7th!  I have been working on this for a long time and am excited to officially announce it!

And to celebrate we are having a giveaway! I have gotten together with Todist and HomeByJenn.com to give you the chance to win 3 awesome prizes:

  • A free year of Todoist premium.
  • Free course access to my course: The Balanced Side Hustle– Balance your schedule & find more time for your side hustle in 30 days. (Launching November 7th)
  • Free course access to Jenn’s course: Balance Frame Work (Launching October 15th)

Organization Giveaway

a Rafflecopter giveaway

So tell me, do you use a to-do app? Have you tried Todoist? Are you a go with the flow person or a organization addict like me? Tell me in the comments.