In my whole 27 years if I’ve learned one thing it’s this, no matter how much you love something some days you just don’t like it. Think about it, no matter how much you love your significant other, best friend, sister, whoever sometimes you just want to slap them and tell them to leave you alone for an hour (or six).
This is how I’ve been feeling about a lot of things lately, blogging being one of them. I’ve just need a bit of a relationship vacation from my blog, a break OR to mix it up.
I feel like I’ve gotten in this churn and burn routine that is just stressing me out and making me more annoyed and (I’ll say it) more sensitive to certain comments. I am by nature a sensitive person, always have been probably always will be. I’m not as sensitive as I was as a child life has taken care of a lot of that but lately, I’ve been just feeling so emotionally drained that even the slightest hint of negativity, condescension or rudeness in a comment on one of my posts, and I just feel beat up.
I know as someone putting their thoughts and feelings on display for the whole world to read and dissect, I need to tough skin to an extent. For the most part this hasn’t been that hard for me but lately, I have just been feeling emotionally weak. I won’t go into the details of my personal life and what’s been keeping me up at night/ dominating all my emotional energy.
What works most of the time might not work all of the time.
For a while now I’ve had a pretty good system on my blog (or at least one I feel comfortable with). I’ve been publishing twice a week on Monday and Thursday. Monday a piece about blogging/business and Thursday and a fun piece about whatever I fancy.
Maybe because I spent the first part of July either out of town and celebrating my birthday I went two weeks barely opening my laptop and if we’re being honest it was pretty nice. But of course, when Monday of last week came my piece was not ready to post but I managed to wrap it up after work but I made a pretty conscious decision that there wouldn’t be a Thursday post. I just couldn’t bring myself to write or publish when my heart wasn’t into it.
Ironically writing this feels pretty therapeutic considering how unattractive my laptop has been to me lately. Untill now it just isn’t where my head has been at. Truth be told I doubt a single reader will notice the change in my posting frequency and I’m not writing this to say, “Forgive me for posting less,” or “Let me explain myself….” I am writing it to say if you feel this way and want to take a break or change things up you aren’t alone and we are okay. It’s okay!
Stepping Back to Refocus
As I said I have a lot going on so I’m made a decision based on that and something my friend Lauren at L Bee and the Money Tree decided to do. I’m cutting back on blogging for the next 2 months or so. I’m only promising one blog post a week and one newsletter a month. I want to take this time to work on my personal life and work on blog/business related projects that have been put on the back burner because writing 2 full posts a week with 3 day marketing cycles, while working full-time, trying to freelance, make time for family and friends, going to the gym and going back into the dating world takes up a lot of time. I know I have wasted a lot of time lately, I’ll be straight with you I’ve spent a few Sunday afternoons wallowing or hungover. But right now I type this post sitting in Starbucks instead of taking the nap I didn’t really need and staying home.
So if I am so uninterested right now why don’t I just stop? Why not just call it quits. Get a huge chunk of my free time back and lower my stress level? Because of the feeling I had after I pushed out the first few sentences today and then the words just took me away, because the fact that although that Mango Black Tea is seriously demanding it escapes from my bladder I just want to keep writing. Because I ended the relationship with the person who inspired me to even start it and maybe part of me needs this to be the good thing that came out of it.
So now that I have rambled on for 700+ words… for your reading pleasure.
The 5 things I remind myself when I want to give up on blogging.
- Why I started- Because I love writing. I always have and I think I’d miss it. Without the responsibility I gave myself of a blog I might not make time to do it anymore.
- That I control the delete button- I mean I am basically like the supreme ruler of the universe when it comes to the comment section of my blog. Hate gets no place!
- All the nice people and comments/ my intention- I write my blog for 3 reasons because I enjoy it. To provide entertainment for people. To hopefully help people. Not everyone will get that, not everyone will understand it, not everyone will appreciate it, but I do.
- Freebies- Yeah that’s shallow and not enough reason to keep blogging all on it’s on but damn it’s a nice perk. I haven’t bought protein powder, shampoo or conditioner in MONTHS!
- Safe space- This is my platform. It’s pink and black. Fun and flirty. My space.
- Because I can- There are places in the world where women can’t just hop online and share their thoughts and experiences. Hell, years ago a black woman in America especially wouldn’t get to really enjoy her freedom of speech.