4 Tips For Leaving Comments & Creating Connections

4 Tips For Leaving Comments & Creating Connections

As bloggers, we want to get blog comments. To us seeing that little icon showing “X” amount  of new comments is one of the most exciting parts of blogging.

We Google “How to get more comments” and “How to get your readers to engage more,” but we tend to miss out or misuse one of the best ways to get more engagement on our own blog…

Almost every article written about to get more comments on your blog will tell you that one of the best sources for growing your audience and getting better engagement is to comment on other bloggers’ blogs.

It’s true, bloggers read blogs and they understand how exciting it is to get new comments on a post and in my opinion, are far more likely to share or comment on a good post than a reader who doesn’t blog.

So what do we do?

We take this advice and start commenting like crazy!

“I’m going to stop by at least 20 blogs a day and leave a comment… if I do this I’ll probably get at least 10 people respond.”

Wait slow down… Here are 4 Tips For Comments Like a Boss!

Comment where you ideal reader is hanging out

Comment on blogs in your niche. I’m not saying that if you are a fashion blogger you can only comment on other fashion blogs or it’s a waste of time because that’s not true.  Those comments will just be good writer karma.

If you are commenting with hopes of connecting with other people you should go places where the people you want to connect with are.

If you blog about food then you will be able to genuinely engage with a post on a food blog. You will probably have interesting feedback that adds to the conversation and makes the blogger want to respond and learn more about you.

Don’t be a jerk

Sometimes you will get negative comments, it’s unavoidable the more traffic you get, the more likely one of those visitors will be a troll. But what about when it’s another blogger that leave you sitting there scratching your head like, “Did they really just say that to me?”

Say you land on a website and after reading the article realize that you don’t agree with the post?  You don’t have to leave without commenting, you just need to comment in a way will make the writer not want to delete your comment.

You can have an opposing opinion without being rude.

I wrote a piece a while back titled, If you give a human a uterus, about my decision not to have children and I got a lot of interesting feedback. A majority of the comments I got really related with my thoughts on how it was my choice but then there was the one (there is always one, they say), the one where this mother who couldn’t have agreed with me less about not wanting to have children and wanting people to stop treating me like I was a horrible person for not wanting to. She went on a 4 paragraph rant about why I was wrong and then put the link to her blog at the end of it.

If I didn’t think it was so hilariously bold of her to actually berate me on my own blog for having an opinion and then have the nerve to type her blog link in the comment, it would have really set me off!  Needless to say, that is the only (non-spam) comment I’ve ever not approved.

You can disagree with me but don’t think you can insult me and I’m going to just leave your insults and blog link on my website.

If you are commenting to connect then leave it respectful. You don’t have to be fake or lie that you agree with someone if you don’t but at least be respectful about it.  I know certain topics like faith and politics are hot button and can cause strong emotions so I would avoid commenting on blogs about these topics as a part of your engagement plan. However, if you are going to disagree, make it about having a conversation or trying to get better understanding about their point of view. There are enough trolls on the internet…don’t be a self-serving troll!

Actually Read the Content

A lot of bloggers generate traffic and comments via Facebook groups, these are amazing places to find new blogs and make connections.

One thing I’ve discovered that drives me insane about Facebook groups is the when you join a comment for comment thread and someone comments on your blog just to be able to say they did it.

When you leave comments like “Great Post,”  “Cool,” or “Thanks for sharing.”

I think…Did they even read it?

Even worse when I get questions asking me something that I already addressed in the post vividly… so I know it was skimmed just so they could comment. I know reading 20 blog posts a day can be a lot but if you’re going to do it do it right.

When you do this your comments seem super generic and it’s obvious you are just commenting to help yourself.

While you may think it really is a “Great post”  that doesn’t tell me a lot. Why is it a great post? What about it did you like so much? Tell me what really stood out to you or connected with you. Tell me an additional item you’d add.

Figure out how it relates to you

Another problem with commenting via Facebook Threads is sometimes you will have absolutely nothing to say about the post. Not because it isn’t a good post or because you didn’t read it but because it doesn’t apply to your lifestyle, I’m more than certain things on my blog are very niche specific.

I experience this often with bloggers who write about having kids, I also deal with this often with food bloggers because I am a VERY picky eater so often their recipes aren’t interesting to me because I’m like “I can’t handle spicy!”

This doesn’t give me a face pass to just comment, “Cool post. Thanks for sharing.” This just means I have to work a little harder to find how it relates to me.

If I need to comment on a post about the birthday party a blogger had for their 5-year-old, I find a connection. I may say something like:

This looks like a super fun party. Happy birthday to Bethany! I love the Frozen theme. I didn’t have any real birthday parties until I was 16 but I would’ve loved a Tweety Bird party at that age.”

I didn’t have to pretend to have kids or just disregard the whole post because I’m not a mom, I found how I related. No, I don’t have kids but I do have a birthday and at one point was 5.

I know not all your comments will be earth shattering, super informative life changing comments but you can do these simple things to build real connections.

Here are a few of my favorite comments I’ve gotten on my blog:

Great Blog Comments

What are some of the best comments you’ve gotten if you’re a blogger?

What are some issues you struggle with when it comes to commenting on other blogs or getting people to comment on your blog? 

94 comments

  1. Michelle Rogers

    I love hearing from other bloggers and commenters on my blog, so I try to reciprocate as much as I can. It’s tough when you don’t have a lot of time to devote to visiting blogs and commenting…but I’m getting better about it. For me, doing something like “I’ll spend X minutes on Monday mornings on this” helps.

  2. Candy

    This is great someone finally wrote on the topic of leaving and writing comments. This is a read, re-read, share post.

  3. Justine Y @ Little Dove Creations

    Totally agree with what you said here. I love getting comments, but occasionally I feel like “Really, that’s all you have to say? Why bother?” or like you said, “Did you even actually rad it or just look at the pictures?” When I’m leaving comments I try to follow the rule of thumb I used to use when signing year books in high school. I would never just say the obligatory “Have a great summer!” I would do what you say and try to think of something to say that would help personalize it a little like, “Remember when ____ happened in so-and-so’s class?!”
    Thanks for these thoughts!

  4. Logan

    This is a great post! I definitely agree with you about leaving a respectful comment when you disagree with someone. I have only received one comment that was really ugly.

  5. Kaley

    Being engaged in relevant communities is definitely the best way to get yourself active and passionate readers! It totally takes effort to find those perfect spots to exert effort in, though!

  6. cori

    Some of the best comments I’ve gotten on my blog are where I talk about a planning concept and someone asks for more information. I tend not to start from the beginning and explain a topic in full every single time, I just give examples of how I’m doing it. Instead of just telling people to Google said concept, I explain a little bit and share some websites that I know have good information. To me that’s legit reader interaction.

  7. Dia

    Hahah Thanks Candy!

  8. Dia

    It can become a hassle trying to respond to each commenter and go visit their site but if you do make the comment worthwhile or don’t waste your time

  9. Dia

    You rock Logan! Who cares about the haters 🙂

  10. Dia

    Thank you Justine. We all probably slip up but you need to try and make a conscious effort 🙂

  11. Dia

    Right it won’t alway be perfect but some people don’t even seem to try.

  12. Dia

    Oh yeah. It also depends on your platform. I mean my article is more about the comments you leave on other people’s blogs not how you respond to the way people comment on your blog. But on your point if you don’t use a site like Disqus commenters may not even see your response so I try to make it something of valuable to many if a comment has a question in it.

  13. Bronwyn

    I get a lot of the “I didn’t read it” type comments, especially on facebook, it is frustrating.

  14. Lisa

    Oh wow, as a fellow blogger, I can so relate to the comment you made about people leaving a remark but you can tell that they didn’t read the post. Because I actually read the posts I comment on, I can only read 2 or 3 a day but I feel it is important and respectful. Thanks for sharing your tips!

  15. Boh

    I agree with providing a meaningful comment! Taking the time to invest in supporting another blogger is something I love, and definitely helps make a new blogger connection! I’ve been fortunate so far to not have had negativity on my website, however I think its not tasteful in engaging in that sort of ‘online trolling’- good on you for not engaging in it either! ps – totally understand the choice of not having children 🙂 xx

    http://www.blackandwhiteinsider.com

  16. Dia

    It’s like okay…. thanks for getting my hopes up.

  17. Dia

    Right I try to spread them out and read them randomly when I get a few minutes. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

  18. Kerry

    I’ve been lucky enough to not receive any negative comments yet. Phew! But I’ve had my fair share of nice post, etc. I always try to relate even if it’s not my niche.

  19. Corina Ramos

    Hi Dia,

    Thank you for bringing this up. I’ve had my share of one liner comments but I really don’t think much about it. I just assume they’re busy but I appreciate that they’ve taken time to stop by my blog.

    But you are right in that leaving a relevant comment is important in making connections. Yes, it is a time consuming part of blogging but it’s a sure fire way to make a connection and get our blog out there.

    I do get a kick out of reading comments that easily shows that person didn’t read it :).

    I do get a big response when I post about blogging and do round-up posts.

    Great post Dia! Passing this along.

    Cori

  20. GiGi

    The thought of being a jerk in comments baffles me. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all – Hey hey! That tip from Kindergarten really stuck with me! ha!!!!! I learned something way back when! 😉 #EducationWorthIt!

  21. Amy Saunders

    Wow this is really helpful! I always struggle to write comments but I’m always willing to put the time in to think of a decent comment rather than just passing it by! But it is so true what you say about bloggers loving comments! I get such a buzz when I find a comment left on one of my posts! I will definitely be subscribing to your blog, so thanks again!

  22. A Glimpse Into This Life

    This was super helpful. I’m new to the blogging world and I’m a few months in and feeling a little defeated. It’s so hard to not see any comments but you made a good point that bloggers read blogs! I love them And I do read many and comment on a few, but I’m definitely going to get more active on commenting now… Like a boss! thank you

  23. A Glimpse Into This Life

    This is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. I’m new to blogging and feeling a little defeated (4 months in). You made a very clear and huge point though that bloggers read blogs, and that I do! I read tons! And comment on few. So I’m going to run with this advice! And comment like a boss! Thank you

  24. Roxy

    As a commenter, my biggest issue is finding something relevant to say on blogs I can’t relate to. I usually find myself find this situation because of those “all or nothing” threads. For instance, I’m not a parent so I find it really hard to talk about things related to children or pregnancy.

    As a blogger, some of the best comments I’ve gotten ask questions to spark more engagement or offer a fresh perspective

  25. Lisa

    My blog has zero comments (granted, I only just opened up commenting for it 3 weeks ago), so I’m going to follow your advice and start devoting time to reading and commenting on other blogs. Thanks for the tips!

  26. Mardene Carr

    I love this…a subject I am very passionate about. So much so I also did a similar post

  27. Dia

    Thanks Mardene. I’d love to check it out!

  28. Dia

    Welcome to the wonderful world of commenting lol I’ll check it out 🙂

  29. Emily

    As a blogger commenting on another blog… thank you!!! I love interacting with other bloggers but it’s a little disheartening to get the generic blog comments that you know are just there to bring traffic back :/

  30. Jenny

    This post is gold! I hate when you read a comment and can just tell that the person just briefly scanned your post because they don’t even mention the right place or product that you’re talking about. It’s frustrating to say the least.

  31. Dia

    Thank you Jenny. It is so obvious. You would think they’d know that

  32. Dia

    Right too much selfish blogging.

  33. Dia

    Right if you don’t have anything to say ask a question. I’m obviously black and had to comment on a post about Sun tan lotion so I have to talk about my relationship with the brand and even made a joke about not needing to tan.

  34. Dia

    Welcome to blogging and that’s for the genuine comment 🙂

  35. Dia

    I really do love it and try to respond to them all since they took the time.

  36. Dia

    That’s so funny I almost put that in the post.

  37. Dia

    Thanks for sharing Corina. Yeah we are all busy but sadly sometimes it is just selfish commenting 🙁

  38. Dia

    It doesn’t really take too much work to find SOME common ground 🙂

  39. Dia

    Thanks Boh! It’s like lets just play nice lol

  40. Kelsie

    I almost put “great post”, just as a joke 🙂 So much of what you say is so true- people trying to comment so much on so many things that they don’t get the depth we desire as writers. I think the most meaningful comments mean so much to bloggers, and so if we really want to build community we’ve got to get those right.

  41. Leslie Rossi

    i’m glad i’m not the only one who finds this frustrating. i like to know if my readers agree with my post or maybe have a suggestion to my recipe. that’s why i have comments open.. but not open to spammers or negative energy!

  42. Victoria Stacey

    You are always such an amazing commenter! I definitely know I could be better at this, but like you said, if you’re going to do it, do it right! I find it hard to make connections sometimes on certain posts too, but you’re right – just have to work harder!

  43. Krista

    This is a really great post, Dia. I think it brings a lot to the ‘GREAT POST’ comment that you often get. It feels lackluster, but hey I appreciate anyone taking the time to write!

    I think too, with all things, you get what you give, and if you give great feedback and comments, you get it back too.

    I really need to find the uterus post! LOL that seems SUPER interesting!

    This was helpful for me when thinking of the thoughtfulness of what I’m trying to say. Really into it!

    Thank you so much, Dia!

    xo
    Krista

  44. Audrey

    I love to leave comments. When I blog I try to ask some questions, so I can engage my readers. It doesn’t always work out, but I’ve gotten some good feedback before. Following up with every reader has been my struggle.

  45. Paola

    Great post! …
    Hahahah, Jokes!
    I totally agree with you in this post, I hate when people leave you negative comments attacking you.
    You wrote very well and I hope you can get awesome comments from now on.

  46. Alison

    This is so true. I agree that comments really connect you to someone almost like a conversation. If you wouldn’t say it to their face you probably shouldn’t say it on the internet. I love how you write. You engaged me from the first word. I even took down some notes during it! Thanks for the tips and helpful commenting!

  47. klauss

    For me personally all the comments on my blog are equally good 🙂 I agree with you on all points, but there are such posts (you know them) that except “Thanks for sharing” and nothing will write.
    And yes, cool post 🙂

  48. Anosa

    A pet of mine is when I have poured my heart and soul into the post for a fellow blogger to come and comment nice post or good to know!! Sometimes I sit there and think what’s the point of leaving a comment if you’re not going to read my post lol. Anyway I could go on but thanks for this post and its nice when you get real good comments from people actually reading the post.

  49. Maureen

    This is a great post and sadly true. I read on problogger that the majority of people only skim blogs and that why we should use bullet points and headings. It’s amazing to think that we are all too busy to actually read the content! I find it very frustrating and rude when I receive a comment and it’s obvious they didn’t even read the post. Oh well…

  50. Chelsea

    Such a great post! Nothing bothers me more than seeing the comment, “Thanks for sharing!” GRRR. I can’t help but feel frustrated.

  51. Monika Celly

    How I loved this article ! I liked the idea of relating yourself to the article. It will be much easier to write a meaningful comment if we actually read it and relate to it . Thanks for this wonderful article.

  52. Dia

    Thanks for stopping by Monika. It’s true even if you don’t relate at least try to find something relative to say.

  53. Dia

    WWe are all on the same page there I’m sure. It’s like we hear all the time be authentic…not spammy lol

  54. Dia

    That is true. I think the best thing to do is just make sure you are leaving good ones and hope it spreads.

  55. Dia

    Right sometimes you don’t know what to say but at least try.

  56. Dia

    Thank you Paola so sweet!

  57. Dia

    You literally just made me smile.Thank you so much for stopping by 🙂

  58. Diana

    Commenting is such an important part of building relationships. I remember I poured my heart out into a comment and then the person just said, “great!” That just made me never ever comment on their blog again.

  59. Sara

    I see posts like this and it makes me happy. Over 50 comments. This tells me you are an active blogger with an engaged and talkative audience.

    Now that social media is “the thing”, people neglect to voice their opinion about your post. (or maybe not).

    Blogging can get lonely especially when starting out. It is time-consuming and YES, there is a lot of reading (especially when you choose to comment on 20 blogs).

    Here’s a tip I learned from Lynn Terry (a super affiliate):
    Create as much content as you consume

    It is easier said than done, but it keeps you sane.

  60. Julie Syl Kalungi

    I agree with you Michele. Setting aside the time to actually visit some niche blogs is key.

    I wrote a monster blog post n this very topic Dia.

    See I allow myself to enjoy the content I chose, appreciating the time it took the author to put it all together and leave a constructive comment. I hate leaving non productive comments.Its like – Why bother… and I see lots of those on my posts, predominantly from syndication groups where the person is looking simply to get a comment back…so their comment reflects that too! Pity coz they miss the chance to really learn and implement something new for their own blog or business.

    I look at comments where someone says “Great info thanx for sharing ” aaarrrrggg Is that all you could say really?

    I must say that sometimes I find the content is regurgitated copy and paste almost kinda thing and that Pisses me off no end too it shows a lack of care for one’s audience and also self respect!

    Blog commenting is a great way to build relationships, show case your knowledge in a welcomed way and build your own link juice. yet lots of bloggers use plugins that don’t allow others to leave a link legally…I.e a url box!
    I almost always remove a link posted in a comment ( thats spam) unless its a resource recommendation…Because there is a specific space for a link and it links to your name…So when someone clicks on your name in the comments section they are redirected to your blog or resource or offer. Your choice. But no spam.

    I could go on about this…lets just say…some bloggers will never learn that “Its in giving that we receive” and thus never attract their target audience… 🙂

  61. Jacky @ Joyful Savings

    I absolutely agree with you. I try to select websites that relate to my niche in some way, which is Frugality; but at the same time I have to be open minded, as many time, a website can relate to mine indirectly. You can always tell who did and did not read your post, though, by the type of comment they left!

    You might also enjoy this post from JoyfulSavings: Don’t throw away your lotion tube…DO THIS First!

  62. tp keane

    This is such a great post. I honestly am wandering around the internet, feeling a little bit lost, and wondering how everyone does it all. Now I know.

  63. Dia

    Thanks for stopping by Jacky!

  64. Dia

    I did recently message a commenter and told them I deleted part of their comment because it was promotional (aka spam!)

  65. Dia

    Thanks for commenting Diana. I am more talking about when you, as a blogger get comments that are short or generic.I get at least 50 comments a day, most days so it’s hard to write a long drawn out response to each and if we’re being honest most people don’t go back to check to see if you responded unless they asked a specific question or if the blog used a email notification commenting service like Disqus.

  66. Dia

    I’m not sure i totally understood your message 🙁 but I do appreciate you stopping by. 🙂

  67. Dia

    Haha it happens to all of us. I didn;t even notice because your comment was real. Had it been “thansk for sharing” I’d probably notice the typo lol

  68. Mimi Rose

    These are such great tips, Dia! I can completely agree with each one, especially actually reading the content! haha, it’s so clear when someone hasn’t actually read what your post is about, and then leaves their blog link in a one sentence comment like, “great post!”. I’d like to think the truly engaged comments make up for the mediocre or spammy ones though. 🙂

  69. Kusum

    Oh my, I made the cut to one of your favorite comments, you made my day!!! But the truth is, you always have such amazing content that it is hard not to write a nice comment.
    I am so with you, its a big turn off to see someone just write ‘great post’, and it is even more annoying when people have no nice things to say about the post – I am like, everybody spends a good amount of time writing posts, one nice thing you say can make their day and motivate them, I mean how hard is it to be genuinely nice (again, its good karma).
    Like you, it is a challenge to relate to all the posts I read but its so interesting to see another perspective. For example a baby/kid related post, I’d say something like, ‘that is such a wonderful idea for a gift’ (since I always struggle to find thoughtful gifts for kids as I have none of my own), etc.
    xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com

  70. Elizabeth O

    It’s ironic that whenever a blogger writes on the topic of commenting, everyone agrees that it makes no sense to leave inane comments like”Great post, love the quotes, and Thanks for sharing!” Yet, the next day, those comments appear like clockwork.
    In the 7+ years I’ve been blogging, I’ve addressed this topic a few times and come to the realization that some people don’t read and therefore have nothing to say. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink…
    Have a restful weekend!

  71. Dia

    Haha right you would think it might stick in their head for a week.

  72. Idaintyit

    I completely agree with this, I once wrote a post about my personal experience of depression and it was titled today is a bad day and someone literally commented this is funny! I was angry! Plus like you said if you aren’t going to red it properly then why comment?! Just move on rather than guess

  73. Dia

    WOW! I am so sorry. I’m approving and looking at comment right now and I just had one where the person so obviously didn’t read the whole post so I just sent it to trash. It was so off base lol at least as bloggers we have that power on our own sites

  74. Dia

    You did because you are also so great about making me feel like you give a crap about what I’m writing about. Thanks Kusum!

  75. Dia

    So funny, I posted this like a week ago and got a few comments where the person didn’t read it… because they thought I was talking about getting better comments verse leaving better comments yourself. SMH. Exhibt A.
    Thanks for reading it for real 🙂

  76. Dia

    It’s all about balance 🙂

  77. Dia

    Yeah It’s a battle of approving and hoping you get back to responding or waiting until you have time to read and address them all.

  78. Dia

    Hey Krista thanks for stopping by 🙂 It’s actually linking in the post.

  79. Dia

    Right it’s like find something to connect with and thank you Victoria, I really do try to connect.

  80. Dia

    🙂 It’s like lets support each other. Do unto others!

  81. Dia

    Yes! Exactly! Thank you so much for stopping by Kelsie.

  82. Karen

    I really do think that most people rarely read an entire post in detail. That is just the way it is. I guess it doesn’t bother me that someone may have skimmed it and left a comment that I address in the article. It tells me they feel strongly enough about being at my blog because they took the time to comment. That in itself is wonderful. It also gives me the ability to expand upon the idea if I need to.

  83. Dia

    I am more talking about people in Facebook group threads.

  84. Klauss

    I mean, what sometimes there are posts that just don’t know how to comment, just nothing to write 🙂

  85. Dia

    Haha. Sorry. Yeah sometimes it’s like, “What do I say here?” I think if you publish a post like that you should put some open-ended questions at the bottom to make it easier for people to comment….which you should do anyway lol

  86. Post Publish Checklist - All The Things I Do

    […] read blogs! If you haven’t checked out my post Blogger Facebook Groups 101 check it out, as well 4 Tips for Leaving Comments and Creating Connections. Just like StumbeUpon give to get. Don’t just share you link and go, comment and interact with […]

  87. candy

    I posted a food recipe today and it is so obvious that most of the people didn’t take the time to read the post. They didn’t even read the title and learn anything from it after reading what some said. I get lazy sometimes like everyone else, trying to and think I have succeeded in responding better.

  88. Dia

    Yeah not every piece will inspire a long great comment but at least try. 🙂

  89. Cori Rose

    I’m a new blogger and I stumbled on this post on Pinterest. I figured it would be a great way for me to learn some blogger-interaction etiquette, but it really reached to me on a personal level when you spoke about interacting with bloggers who blog about their kids. A blogger I love and follow religiously is a lifestyle blogger and a lot of her posts are about her kids. I don’t think my husband and I will have children so it’s hard for me to find that commonality with those specific posts. I never thought about relating my childhood to those posts! So THANK YOU for that!

    My next stop will be your post on deciding not to have children. It is very rare that I come across someone who has made that decision and I’m excited to read your point of view!

  90. Dia

    Cori! You just made my day. I’m glad that you found the post helpful. I think it’s a personal decision between a woman and her partner and she should never be penalized for it. Much love your way.

  91. Tina

    I love “If you’re going to do it, do it right”. It’s a good way to comment on blogs, and a good way to live life, really.

  92. Dia

    Haha yes! Tina, exactly. Life is too short to waste time.

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