Why do I feel blah?

5 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Feel Out Of Alignment

In this episode:

In this episode of Creatives Cushing Anxiety, I share 5 questions you should ask yourself when you feel out of alignment and how they work to get you back in the zone.

  • Who are my ideal clients?
  • What do I do for fun?
  • Do my prices match the level of value I provide clients?
  • Is my business enabling the things I want or is it hindering them?
  • What am I doing?

Listen Here:

Episode Transcription 

I want to talk about something that I feel like everyone kind of deals with from time to time as business owners,  And that’s feeling out of alignment. Now, if you’re not really “Woo,” then you may be like, What are you talking about? And what I mean, when I say you’re feeling out of alignment is you just don’t quite feel like things are where they should be. Or like you’re not doing what it is you’re supposed to be doing. And not, “Oh, I’m going to get in trouble,” but it just felt things fell off. I think that’s probably the simplest way to say it. Maybe you feel unhappy, and you may not even feel unhappy, you may feel stuck or stagnant or like you’re just going through the motions. I think as a business owner, this will come up when it’s time for a shift in your business or if you have reverted back to old habits or old patterns, or if you’re just afraid to move into the next level in your business. So today, I’m actually going to share five different questions that you should ask yourself whenever you’re feeling out of alignment. 

Who are my ideal clients?

Now, when you think of your ideal client, you probably go to avatars and the details of who they are, how much they can pay, what they do, but that is not what I mean here. Because yes, that is all very important. You want to make sure that you’re working with people who can pay, you want to make sure that you have a niche, that you know you’re focused and know who you’re supporting. But what I actually mean is how do you want to feel when you work with them? What type of relationship do you want to have with them? Do you want them to be super involved? Do you want them to give you what they got and then let you run wild because they completely trust you? What are the relationships that you want to have with these clients? Who are these people? How do you feel when you talk to them and engage with them? 

It can be extreme things, or it can be completely simple? Because when you stop and ask yourself this question, you may think, “I really want people who just empower me and trust me”, and then you notice maybe you fill out alignment because this one client is constantly wanting to change everything that you do. And it’s not, “Oh, this is bad,” it’s “Oh, I just don’t like it this way, I want it this way.” So they’re not letting you be in your zone of genius. 

They’re really just kind of making you feel like you’re not doing good work when you know that you are just not doing it in their preference. And maybe that means that they need to work with someone else who can relate more to their preference, or someone who wants their very close leadership as a client versus a collaboration as a service provider. 

Another side of that could just do you want someone who it really can be very simple? Do you want someone who would rather send you task and Asana versus calling you? I had a client once who would call me non stop. And I am not a phone person, I do not like talking on the phone, shoot me a text, send me a voxer, email, TeamWork, whatever. But I do not want to be on the phone all the time. And the reason behind that is with a lot of people because it is a little bit more personal, (which is great) you can sometimes get off course and something that would have been three text messages between the two of you turns into a 30-minute phone call. You end the call and you’ve just lost 30 minutes of valuable time and your time is very important. So for me, I need clients who are okay with not necessarily hopping on the phone for everything, who feel comfortable sending me a voxer. I also don’t really like doing phone calls versus zoom calls, because I want to be able to go back and watch a recording or replay, listen to a voxer message or reread the Asana task, so that I can make sure I have clarity and then it also cuts back on a lot of that, “Oh, wait, you said this, right?” And the thing with this client that I’m actually talking about who would love to call me, she would get so irritated if I asked her something a second time. We’re on a phone call for 30 minutes, and I’m trying to take notes, but she’s also asking me random questions about random things. You know, you miss stuff, or you don’t feel confident about stuff. And because she was kind of helicopter client, you wouldn’t want to send her anything that was wrong. Because she would be like, well, I told you blah, blah. And it was not the type of client that I wanted to work with. And it really made me feel out of alignment when I was still in that relationship. 

What do I do for fun?

I didn’t realize when I was really in the throes of being out of alignment before I really had this intuitive breakthrough and really shifted things in my life in my business. People would ask me what I did for fun, and I didn’t realize how bad of a place I was in until someone would ask me that. And my mind would just go totally blank. I’d be like a, or I’d mentioned things that I hadn’t done in years, I’d be like, “Oh, I love to go to karaoke,” and I hadn’t karaoke in like three years. And it’s like, well, I used to do that all the time. So when people ask you what you do for fun you realize you’re not having any fun.

I also want to kind of have an aside here, because a lot of times, we discount the things that we do for fun. Because if it is fun for you to watch some Netflix, then say that it sounds lazy or boring, that’s what you do for fun. Be honest with yourself. Don’t feel like what you do for fun has to be what other people do for fun, just because that influencer is like, “Oh, this was such a fun day, I went and hiked three miles.”  Hard pass on all of that as far as I’m concerned. 

Just be really honest with yourself as far as what you do for fun. And if you can’t think of what you do for fun, and don’t think about what you used to do, what you would like to do, what you wish you had time to do, think about what you’re actually doing in the present day, how you actually incorporate fun into your life. Limit yourself to just the last month, what do you do for fun? You’ll see if you’re actually making came time for fun, which is so important and definitely one of my values and principles is to have fun in life because life is short. So stop and ask yourself,  What do I do for fun? And am I having fun? Just being really aware.

Side Note 

Before I jump to the third question, I want to say that some of these questions you may have a wonderful answer for. You may completely feel good with who you’re working with. Or you may feel like you make time, every single Saturday and every single Tuesday to go do this thing that you love to do that is fun and not isn’t work related. The reason there are five different questions is because one of them will probably lead you to realize what it is it’s making you feel out of alignment. 

Do my prices match the value I provide clients?

 Not getting paid well can make you feel yucky. And I think what happens a lot of times with entrepreneurs, especially when they’re starting out, or they’re having a rough patch, if they take on assignments at a lower rate than what they really feel that they’re worth, or maybe even in some cases, they charge one person lower just to get the contract, but they’re charging someone else a higher rate. And what will happen is they’ll be more likely to do the work for someone who’s paying them more. And to be less annoyed with feedback and criticism by them than they are the person who’s paying them less because they’re  either consciously or subconsciously thinking, “Man, you don’t even pay me that much.” So it kind of creates this yucky horrible feeling.

The thing that you really have to realize when it comes to pricing, and how that can affect your mood is like this, is it strictly a client problem, it tends to be a huge YOU problem.

Example Time: 

Have you ever went to buy a specific item, let’s say you want a new pair of jeans? Before you even go to the store, you look at your bank account and decide, you know what I feel comfortable spending $120. You get to the store, you find the perfect pair for $85. #Winning

I would assume that most people won’t go up to the sales clerk and say, “Hey, these are $85. But I’m willing to pay $120. So here’s $120.” No, you probably are like, “Oh yeah, that’s the deal.” And then you keep that remaining $35 or you go buy a new top or something, I go with the new jeans. 

When you offer clients a rate, it isn’t their responsibility to offer you more. And I think that comes with realizing your worth, knowing how much value you provide, and finding a price and sticking with it. Then getting comfortable with saying what your price is. One thing that my coach even suggested is practicing in the mirror and just saying it until it’s second nature. 

Another really good trick that I’ve heard from numerous sources is after you say your price, just stop talking. I would do that when I sold insurance is I would say, “Okay, well your quote is $95 a month, how would you like to get that setup?” 

Because you’re just like, you know, this is what it is, I’m not going to change it, (I couldn’t change it, as far as the insurance went, it was like system generated price). So you just say okay, this is it, how would you like to get started, and they’re either gonna say, “Oh, I’m not ready,” or they’re gonna say, “Oh, I can put this on this card.” So once you find the price that actually matches the value you provide, and you build that confidence and comfort around it, you’ll see that you’re not feeling as annoyed or as easily irritated by certain clients because they are paying you you’re worth and you feel valued. 

It isn’t always about the money part of it, it’s the value part of it, when people aren’t paying you what you feel like you’re worth or if you’re struggling to make ends meet, even though you’re working all the time, you’re going to feel like you’re not valued. And it’s not necessarily that you aren’t valued, it’s that you told the client, this is how much you have to pay me and they’re like, okay, they’re not going to say, “Oh, you know what, I really think that you’re worth $60 an hour. So let’s just bump up that 20, you told me I could pay you.”

Is my in business enabling the things I want? Or is it hindering them?

Now, with this question, what you really have to think about, first of all, is that you need to know what you want. And that maybe even going back to the reasons you started your business like you want to be able to travel and work on the go. And if you’re saying, okay, is my business enabling the things I want? Or is it hindering them? So is that the case if you said you want it to travel, but you are so tired all the time, or you’re so glued to your laptop, you can’t even imagine being on a plane for three hours without reliable Wi-Fi. Y realize you’re traveling less than you were when you were at your nine to five? 

Or is it enabling them? Do you find yourself going somewhere once a month, every two months, once a quarter, or just working from a different location for a week or whatever, and seeing the sights and having a good time? Looking at the things that you wanted when you got into your business, and really just stepping outside of it and looking to see, okay, this is what I say I want in my life, this business is supposed to be a tool to help me do these things. Is it? Just really being honest with yourself? And then if the answer is it’s hindering them, then you need to stop and say, “Okay, how can I change that? What needs to shift so that my business is empowering me, and not limiting me?”

What am I doing?

I love this question because it’s so broad. But it’s one of those questions that when you stop and ask yourself, it can very easily blow your mind. When it comes to asking yourself, what am I doing? There are so many possible answers. You know, what am I doing in my life? What am I doing my business? What am I doing when I just walked into this room, and now I can’t remember why I’m here?  Whatever it is when you stop and say, “What am I doing?” What is the mission? What is the goal? What are my values? So much can come from that question? So just really being aware 

When you answer that question, and you see what the answer is, you may feel like, “That’s what I’m meant to do. That’s where I’m at right now.” Or you may feel like, “Why am I doing this? This is not making me happy.” So just being very, very aware of yourself. 


The Balanced Business Experience

Are you interested in zoning in on why you fell out of alignment and make changes in your businesses stick? My 1:1 coaching program, The Balanced Business Experience is now open. Yes, I have a few spots open for someone who’s just really ready to dive into the way that they work to create a custom plan for the way that they want to show up every day that lets them be in their zone of genius. If you’re ready to cut out the things that aren’t working, click the link below to learn more.

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Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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