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We are always going somewhere to another meeting, to a coffee date, to a happy hour, to a birthday party, to a presentation, to a conference…just going, going…….gone.
In a world where there always seems to be a new destination, why are so many people feeling lost? Why do some people just feel like no matter what they do or what they accomplish they are just never where they want to be? Why with all the technology, Siri, and GPS, do we still find ourselves feeling lost?
Here are 6 reasons you may be feeling lost.
You spend your time with people who are also lost and have no intention of finding their way
We all go through phases where we are just living day to day, paycheck to paycheck, or moment to moment. It’s natural, this phase may have been during college for you, after college, when all your friends started getting married, when your marriage ended, when your kids left home, whenever it was this phase is totally normal sometimes. I like to think of it as the Pause Phase.
But what about those people who seem to be on permanent pause? Are you surrounding yourself with people who are happy with the bare minimum? People who don’t have the same ambition as you? People whose lives may be a hot mess and they are fine with it that way? People who constantly complain about how things aren’t getting better but aren’t making moves to make things better?
If so, that may be why you feel lost. You can’t move forward with anchors that hold you down. These types of people have decided they can’t go anywhere or do anything, so even if they love you they can’t really understand or support the fact that you want to go somewhere and do something. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. People who make you want to try new things and people who understand life is about making a difference and finding your happiness.
Get the free Finding Your Path Workbook.
You don’t take time to take care of yourself
If you stop by McDonald’ss every night on the way home from work, only get off the couch to refill your wine class and smoke a pack of cigarettes a day you aren’t taking care of your best asset, YOU!
Your body and mind are intertwined. I don’t have to go into detail about the effects a bad lifestyle can have on you physically and mentally because we’ve all heard it before. If you aren’t doing whatever you can to feel your best physically every day you are standing in the pool with a weight around your ankle holding you back.
I’m not saying you can’t eat a burger or have a glass of wine. I’m saying you need to find balance. If you are planning on creating that e-course or going to your first 6.a.m. yoga class don’t stay out the night before tossing back beers until 2 a.m.
If you are trying to reach a goal it might take some long nights or early mornings but your body needs rest and so does your brain.
Listen to your body’s cues and signals. Your body will tell you what you need if you put down the remote and listen.
[bctt tweet=”Listen to your body’s cues and signals. Your body will tell you what you need, put down the remote & listen.” via=”no”]
You focus too much energy on what other people think or how your actions make other people feel instead of how they make you feel
No matter who the person is, no one should dictate your happiness. If you spend every second of the day analyzing the things you want to say, you aren’t being true to yourself and that’s like drinking emotional poison.
Yes we want people to like us and we want to make our loved ones happy but what about your happiness?
This doesn’t mean you should just be an asshole and say mean things that are uncalled for because it’s how you feel.
It means you should stand up for yourself and remember your feelings and emotions are valid. You’re allowed to feel. No matter how much you focus on other people’s feelings or how happy you make them you will still have to deal with your own feelings.
So if you disagree, say so. If someone has wronged you, let them know. If people can’t handle you standing up for your emotional rights then you don’t need them.
You say yes to everything, so you never know what you actually want to do.
This is something that a lot of ambitious people make the mistake of doing. They don’t want to miss out on a potentially good opportunity or burn any bridges, so they accept every invitation they get. Professional or social, this is hazardous to finding your path.
I’ve done it myself, when I started my business and blog I said yes to every collaboration opportunity, yes to every guest post (even the free ones) and it made my own goals suffer. It distracted me from the big picture.
Yes, you have to pay your dues but you need to determine, is there any long-term value for your life? Is it something you really want to be a part of? Does it drive your passion? Does it lead you towards where you want to be? Is it worth the time? Do you have the time? We all get 24 hours a day, use them wisely. Don’t give your time to things that don’t enrich your life mentally, personally, physically or professionally.
No is not a dirty word.
You are scared of things you can’t control
Be aware, take precaution but don’t hold back. You could get hit by a car tomorrow but does that mean never leave the house? NO. Does it mean to play in traffic? No. It means look both ways before crossing the street but cross that street.
Things in life are unpredictable and often out of our control all you can do is give 100% and be open to change. Changes will happen. Heartbreak will happen. Sometimes everything will seem perfect and then the other shoe will drop and everything will feel like hell. Those moments strengthen us and make us who we are meant to be.
Don’t focus on the areas you can’t control, master the things you can. Plan for the outcomes you can’t control. No one goes to the beach expecting to drown. You can’t live your life like that or you’ll never get in the water. That’s what lifeguards are for. It’s better to face a fear and fall on your face than to just let the fear control you.
You don’t know who you are and aren’t doing anything to find out
You’ve been told for so long what’s “normal” what’s “expected of you” what “you should be” doing. But what is your normal? What makes you happy? What excites you? What do you expect from yourself? What do you want to be doing?
If you can, I suggest just spending 1 hour once a week doing something you enjoy. Make your favorite dish. Go sit down at a restaurant by yourself with a notepad and write yourself a letter. Try meditation. See what comes out when you aren’t thinking about it, when you aren’t worried about someone else reading it. Who are you?
So did you just have a “this is me” moment? What has been blocking your direction? How do you deal with toxic or restricting relationships?
Lauren
Great post! I think I feel lost when I am overwhelmed of over-scheduled.. so stepping back and enjoying time to myself and refocusing always helps! 🙂
Dia
That is a big one for me. I have so much juggling, I don’t know whats what. Me time is so important.
Krista Williams
Great great post. Everyone should read this.
You say yes to everything, so you never know what you actually want to do.
This is something that a lot of ambitious people make the mistake of doing. They don’t want to miss out on a potentially good opportunity or burn any bridges, so they accept every invitation they get. Professional or social, this is hazardous to finding your path.
Love that part – that’s what Im working on right now!
xo
Krista
http://www.hundredblog.com
Paola
Yes, totally agree! I have done this and my life has changed when I took the bad out of it.
Christine
This is a great post. I really enjoyed reading this and could to relate to feeling lost at times. I tend to get overwhelmed with things I need to do. I do make my lists but sometimes I feel pulled in so many directions. I do try to take time for myself in the morning.
Dia
Thank’s amazing. I’m glad you cut loose the bad.
Dia
Thanks so much for your kind word Krista!
Dia
I did that this morning. I just laid in bed and let the day sink in before turning on any electronics and I feel so much more peaceful today.
Lynn
I never realize I love myself the least of all 🙁 Making a relationship with myself and making a commitment to take care of myself has always seemed “selfish” that it’s way way down in my list of priorities. I’m encouraged that I’m not the only one who feels lost and over-worked. I can change this and I will! Thank you for your awesome insights, Dia!
Emily
This is a great post that gives you so much to think about! Thanks for sharing!
Dia
I am so glad if this helped you in any way Lynn! It is not selfish to take care of yourself, if you want to stay balanced to love others you have to love yourself and take care of you.
Dia
Thanks Emily.
Riley
This is very accurate and insightful. I think a lot of people could benefit from this post. Thanks!
candy
I think we all feel lost sometimes. Feeling overwhelmed, confused or being around negative people all bring on these feelings.
linda
Wow. Spot on! Especially number 1!
Jessica Bradshaw
Yes! I agree with all of these. The self-care one is a big one for me. Or taking on more (saying yes to everything) than I need to. Great thoughts!
Dia
Thanks Riley!
Dia
Yeah we all have moments but if you’ve been in a longterm hold or have felt this way for an especially long time you should consider your lifestyle and surroundings.
Dia
Thanks for visiting Linda.
Dia
Thank you Jessica.
Jenn
Wow, this is so great! There are many different messages in this. I love it. Take care of yourself, allow yourself to grow, and it’s okay to be scared sometimes. This really has been my motto for this year. Last year, I took care of my dying mother which meant that I was not taking care of myself. It is so great to be reminded that yes, putting yourself first will help you stay focused on what’s ahead. Really, I love this! Thank you so much!!
Molly Kumar
Great Post Dia and I so agree with the reasons posted. At times I do end up saying yes to so many things and then have a completely lost feeling. I need to start saying ‘No’ to things especially when my mind say No & the heart say’s yes 😉
Shannon
I was glad to read this and find that I do not do most of these things [anymore] I have come to a point where I have stopped caring what people think as much [YAY] It literally sucks up your energy and take it coming from someone with social anxiety- many times it is hard to stop that thinking.
I am doing like everything I can right now to figure out me and my path…I still sometimes question the direction I am going in but I think it’s a lot easier to take it one day and one step at a time!
Willow
Great post! I agree with all of these! I have gotten out of friendships for the very reasons you described.
Dia
It’s not always easy but sometimes you have to cut people loose.
Dia
Thanks Molly. You really do need to listen to your body mind and heart and figure out what your truth is. It doesn’t mean you’ll only do things you love but you shouldn’t constantly sacrifice.
Dia
Thanks Jenn! I am so sorry about your mother. My mom experienced the same last year. Much love to you this weekend.
Dia
Yes! Little by little becomes a lot.
Georgiana Daniels
Oh, man….I’ve SO been there! Thankfully I’m not lost (at the moment) but I DO stink at physically taking care of myself. When your body is rundown, so is your spirit. Great post!
Scarlett
I’ve never liked working out but going to the gym is a good release I’ve found.
Gloryanna @onlyaseason
This is so true! I think sometimes I feel a little lost too because being sucked into my screen too much closes me off from the world outside my phone!
Sophia
Girl. YES! I agree with all of the above. When was in my 20’s I was lost alot. And it took some self reflection to figure out why I felt that way. And all of what you wrote ring true for me, especially the hanging out with people who were lost and had no direction.
Sara
This whole article sums up the life of a Pisces. I feel like I am guilty of all of those reasons, but slowly I’m learning to stand on own and live for me.
Rosemond
Oh yes, how many of these do I relate to. Guilty as charged. I need to step away more often and decide what I want to do instead of what I keep saying yes automatically to!
Ashley
I think that this is an absolutely amazing post and you are so right on all of these points. I spent a lot of years feeling lost and I finally stepped outside of my comfort zone and ended up finding myself. I love that you pointed out that being around people who are perpetually lost will only make you feel that way too. I am a huge believer of spending time with people that are in the life you would like to be. I’m not saying covet what they have, but their energy and thinking will rub off on you.
Ally Fiesta
I deal with toxic relationships by taking time away. If I miss the person then I take the time to see what I can do or have a sit down with that person about what is going on my side of our relationship.
More often than not, I don’t miss that person and was only including in them my life because I had known them for so long.
Awesome read. <3
michelle
I too have been distracted by saying yes to too many things in both blogging & acting. Sometimes doing so has blown up in my face when I realized i shouldn’t have said yes
Tiffany
All fabulous advice. I am going to bookmark and make some changes!!
Dia
Thanks so much Georgiana and thanks for sharing it too! 🙂
Dia
Yeah you just have to find the workout that works for you.
Dia
Yeah something that connects us so much can really block us and close us off.
Dia
Thanks Sophia . It’s not like you have to hang out with CEOs but you should surround yourself with people who don’t hold you back.
Dia
Haha I’m a cancer so I think it’s universal. Thanks for stopping by Sara.
Dia
It’s hard to do sometimes but it can make a huge difference.
Dia
Exactly. I’m so glad that wasn’t misinterpreted but birds of a feather flock together.
Dia
Thats a great way to handle it. Sometimes I end up putting people in a limited space. I’ll go get a drink with you but I’m not opening up to you just to be drowned in your negativity.
Dia
Thanks so much Tiffany.
Dia
You really have to pick and choose. It’s easy to get caught up and excited or me but can just end up being more of a lost than a gain.
Jenny
Love this post! Sometimes I feel “lost” but I am still really young and trying to find my path so I think that’s okay. I definitely have ambitions and drive so I know that I will get to where I want to be in due time.
xoxo, Jenny
Dia
Haha for sure. It’s bound to happen sometimes but it’s important to be aware of your surroundings.
Erin | A Welder's Wife
I am a big control person! I like to plan out my week at least a week ahead of time. I do not fear leaving the house, but my husband is not a planner and enjoys changing my plans on occasion. It drives me nuts, too! Slowly I am learning to let go and roll with it, but some things I simply cannot let go of just yet. I also have had a problem with not knowing what I want to do with my life, but I am slowly figuring that out as well. This lost feeling is going to leave me really soon! Great post!
Caroline
I am all about saying no! I am not afraid to do it at all. I just don’t want to get lost!
Missy - Getting Fit to Find Myself
Love it! I feel lost right now for totally different reasons but prior to my accident I was dealing this the issues you mentioned above. I have learned a lot and will not be committing to as much and I will be taking a lot more time for myself!
Amanda
What a great post. I often feel lost but that is because I have too many interests and I want to tackle them all and then find myself stuck. Especially with my energy levels taking the dip that they did. I’m slowly learning to take care of myself better so that I can then focus on all those interests because when I accomplish one, it makes me feel good!
Dia
I’m guilty of that one too! I have so many things I want to do but I have to remember to slow down.
Dia
Missy, you know I adore you. I really hope you start feeling more at peace soon.
Sandy Mangis
This was a great post. Just what I needed at this moment. My venture as a blogger has meant so much more to me than just a business. it has been my happy place, it has been my finding me place. I was lost, I was doing for everyone else. I have found me again and wow, I am enjoying it. I know that I have something and I am something. I have purpose and now I am sharing that and helping others learn that they too have a strong voice that can be theirs. And the best part is ……you can make money doing just that.
Dia
Sandy! That makes me so happy to hear! (or read I guess lol) Right it’s icing on the cake.
Dia
That’s awesome, a lot of people do sadly.
Dia
We all have those times. Lots of love you way.
Kusum
Right on Dia, perfect points! Its a constant effort to not fall in the trap, especially learning to say NO (not yes) to everything.
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
Jessica
This is all too true! I know I’m more likely to overextend myself if I lose sight of the path I really want to be on – instead of following my path, I end up drifting by according to the whims of other people.
Liz Mays
I definitely fall under the category of scared of things I can’t control. I like to be control all the time and feel lost when I’m free falling.
Leslie Rossi | alifewellconsumed
i forget to take time for myself and then become overwhelmed with my list.
Dia
It’s so easy to do when you have drive.
Dia
It’s so easy to do that. much love your way Jess.
Dia
It is bound to happen sometimes but don’t let it keep you stuck.
Dia
We often forget that No is a totally okay word to use.
Lakisha
I was once lost but now I’m found! I took the detox from everything to refuel and refocus. Much needed.
Dia
That makes me so happy to hear Lakisha.