Behind the Anxiety: My 29th Birthday!

This week I am taking you behind the anxiety. It’s my birthday and as always that is a time of reflection. In this episode, I discuss some of the anxiety that has come up for me lately and how I’m dealing.

I also talk about:

  • My journaling practices
  • Changing Paths in Life
  • How life has been since leaving my 9-5 and more.

You can subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform:

Sticher

iTunes

Google Play

Thanks for listening! <3

Did you enjoy this episode?

Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Now tell me:

  • How did you celebrate your last birthday?
  • How did you celebrate 29 (if you’re there)?
  • What was your best birthday so far?
  • Do you journal?
  • Would you be interested in more Behind The Anxiety episodes where I get personal?

How to Find Your Support Community Online

In this episode:

When you’re starting your business online, there is a lot to do and a lot to learn. Regardless of the type of business you’re operating chances are you’ll need a tribe to keep you strong. I know, I know, you have a fantastic partner, a beautiful and supportive best friend and a puppy that licks your face when you cry but hard truth, it probably isn’t enough. I have a wonderful circle of family and friends in my life, but the truth is they don’t totally understand what I do.

That is why it is wonderful when you find a group of like-minded business owners to build a support community with.

Listen Here:

If you’re ready to create a community that lets your connection with other entrepreneurs then here are are some tips to help you in the process.

Don’t Be a Creeper

No one likes a creeper. Not at a bar and not online. I know firsthand how easy it can be to fan girl out or over gush about someone you admire. Let’s be honest, trying to make new friends as an adult is a lot like dating. You don’t want to come on too strong and you don’t want to end up with just anyone.

Be Transparent

I’m not a shy person at all but I am a private person. If you want to build a real community and make a real connection you have to be willing to let people in. Don’t worry I’m not telling you that you need to write a deeply personal essay talking about how you cried for 3 hours over a client who asked for a refund. But you need to be able to be open and honest with your community.

What does that look like?

  • Share that less than perfect Instagram photo where you’re makeup-less on your 4th cup of coffee.
  • Do a live stream about how you send 20 pitches to HelloGiggles before you ever got a response and then sent them 10 more before they finally accepted one.
  • Reach out to another business owner you follow who is going through something you’ve dealt with. A year ago I wrote a very open article about a rough time I was dealing with, this involved ugly crying in a parking lot and resting my head on a stranger’s shoulder. I got a number of emails that led to true friendships I otherwise wouldn’t have made. Friendships I value and benefit from still.

Look at All Different Levels

We are all at different levels in our businesses, and while a lot of people will tell you to aspire for relationships with people who are where you want to be in the future, I believe a balance is important. You need that more experienced person to bounce ideas off of and be encouraged and inspired by. You need that person who is at the same stage and really understands what you’re dealing with in the moment because they are too. It’s important to have friends who are working their way up because not only can you give back to them by teaching what you’ve learned. They can make you see things through beginners eyes when your more experienced eyes keep you limited and stuck using old methods.

Create Your Own Opportunities

The best example of this is what my mentor did. She couldn’t find a like-minded in-person community and felt lonely running her one-woman shop, so she started going to a group an hour away. After a few trips, she got together with two other women and created a local chapter of the organization. In fact, that is where I met her. You don’t have to take on the full responsibility of creating an organization but you can create opportunities to connect.

A few ideas:

  • Do an open invitation in your newsletter to schedule coffee chats. Just put a casual note in your newsletter saying you’re looking to connect with other entrepreneurs and reserve a few spots on your calendar each month to chat.
  • Post in Facebook groups that you are looking for a mastermind group and BE SPECIFIC. Talk about your business. What you’re looking for in a group? What qualifications do you want them to have? How often do you want to meet?

   Here is an example: Hi, I’m Dia and I’m a project manager. My business is called Project Managers Corp. I’m looking for mastermind buddies. If you’re a business owner who has been in business for at least two years, I’d love to talk. Ideally, I’d like to have bi-weekly meetings via zoom to talk about business strategy and hold each other accountable. I’m in the Central time zone and am looking for 2-3 other people. If you’re interested, respond with your email and time zone.  Don’t over think the first call; things will happen naturally as you get to know each other but there are tons of resources for making the most out of your accountability relationship.

  • Do a slow build. When that business owner you follow writes at the end of their “hit reply and let me know what you think.” hit reply and let them know. Start randomly building conversation and after a few of those emails, you may feel comfortable enough to ask to chat one on one.

Disclaimer: This is not a way to get free coaching from someone you admire. When people are successful online, they tend to come across a lot of people who want free access to their brain. Ask for the call from a place of wanting to build genuine connections and you can even say that you are looking to build real connections and would love to take the conversation to a face to face chat.

Remember business owners are busy and if they say, “no,” it’s okay. Don’t make it awkward and don’t take it personally. Keep responding and being supportive and eventually, they may ask you to chat. The first time I emailed Rachel about meeting for coffee, it took her over a week to respond to my email. During which time I freaked out like three times that I came on too strong, though maybe I spelled her name wrong and also convinced myself she’d looked at my website and thought I was weird. When she responded she apologized for the delay and a week later we were talking business at coffee, now it’s become a regular thing and she is one of my biggest motivators.

Get Off the Computer

I know, we are so safe and happy behind our computers but one of the biggest things that moved my business forward was getting out and meeting people in person. Go out and meet people. I’m not suggesting you go to stuffy networking events where you come home drained and with 50 business cards you’ll never use. I mean events with like-minded business owners, search Meetup and Facebook for such events, pay close attention to the descriptions.

Remember Your Value

When you meet someone you think might be a good mastermind buddy or just a biz bestie come from a place of giving. You’re a rockstar and a go-getter, people want to work with you. Now get out there and make connections.

Mentioned in this episode:

Making Your Way Online With Kaitlyn From The Crown Fox

The Power of Strategic PR in Online Business with Brittney Lynn

Meetup

You can subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform:

Sticher

iTunes

Google Play

Thanks for listening! <3

Did you enjoy this episode?

Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Now tell me:

  • How did you meet your biz friends?
  • What do you do when you feel lonely in your business?
  • Do you ever take things offline?
  • Do you have a regular mastermind group?

How I Make Big Decisions in Life & Business

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In episode 42 of Creatives Crushing Anxiety, I talk about the questions I ask myself before making big decisions. These simple questions help me feel more grounded and snap me back into reality when I’m going down the rabbit hole of analysis paralysis and self-doubt. They really just help with keeping yourself centered and not overthinking or freaking out.

In this episode:

  • The questions I ask myself when struggling with a big choice.
  • Two examples of this method in action.
  • Why we often get stuck in choice paralysis.

Listen Here:

I am an extraordinarily cautious person. Ask my friend and former editor M.L. Scarbrough I have been emailing her for years about everything from researching where to buy my car from what to name my blog. I like to think before I act. I can admit that sometimes I’m cautious to a fault.

One thing I hear and read online a lot is, “just do it.” We get so in our heads that we use being cautious as a procrastination technique.

I want to live stream, but I need to make sure I have all the points outlined first.

I want to start offering services, but I have to decide every single step of the process before I do. I don’t want to get a client and look dumb.

I want to start dating again, but I don’t want to attract the wrong men, so I need to make sure my dating profile is perfect.”

And so on…

The thing is sometimes you just need to dive right in. The problem is deciding when you need to test the waters and when you need to jump in head first.

The thing is sometimes you just need to dive right in. The problem is deciding when you need to test the waters and when you need to jump in head first. Click To Tweet

There are so many options nowadays. In The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz; the author talks about how a world full of options can be more confining than it is freeing. Yes, you could blog, you can start a youtube channel or a podcast. You can host in-person events or webinars. So many choices to basically do the same thing.

We get frozen when faced with so many options that we procrastinate deciding and never move forward.

We get frozen when faced with so many options that we procrastinate deciding and never move forward. Click To Tweet

I came up with a few questions to ask yourself when you get stuck in choice procrastination.

  • Is there a smaller way I can test this out before diving in?
  • What is there to lose if I do this? What is there to gain?
  • Will doing this limit me in the future if it doesn’t work out?

Example 1:

Now to break that down. Let’s say you want to host your first webinar. You’re terrified that no one will show up or worse someone will, and you will be horrible.

Is there a smaller way I can test this out before diving in?

Yes, I could announce a live stream on Instagram, periscope or Facebook and give the talk. That way there is no major setup, and I can practice speaking live.

What is there to lose if I do this?

I die of embarrassment. No one shows up. People show up, and I get trolled.

What is there to gain?

I gain new subscribers or clients. I realize it’s fun.

Will doing this limit me in the future if it doesn’t work out?

No. If it goes bad, I can try again later or try something else.

It’s not some super complicated formula it’s just about checking yourself.

Example 2:

Now let’s say it’s something a little less black and white. In this example, you want to take a job in a new city.

Is there a smaller way I can test this out before diving in?

I could ask if I could work remotely for the first six months.

What is there to lose if I do this?

I could hate it and end up in a city where I know no one.

What is there to gain?

This would be a huge increase in pay. It could propel my career. I can start over fresh.

Will doing this limit me in the future if it doesn’t work out?

Maybe. If I quit my current job, I may not have a position to come back to if the new job doesn’t work out. I could always get another job, and I could try to sublease the new apartment and move home if the move is too hard.

See how you could just calmly look at this. Often when you sit down and write the “obstacles” associated with moving forward you discover they aren’t that scary.

Often when you sit down and write the “obstacles” associated with moving forward you discover they aren’t that scary. Click To Tweet

I recommend doing this after taking 5 or 10 minutes to sit in silence and just focus on your breathing don’t let your thoughts overtake you. Then sit down and ask yourself these questions. The point of them is to make you move forward regardless of your reservations. Maybe you’ll discover you aren’t ready to take the step or that you can take a different one but this way you aren’t stuck.

Stop being stuck. The questions I ask myself when I can't make a big decision. Click To Tweet

Mentioned in Episode:

8 Thoughts Girls Have Online Dating

Episode 26: Processes For A Great Client Experience 

The Big Leap By Gay Hendricks 

The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz 

You can subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform:

Sticher

iTunes

Google Play

Thanks for listening! <3

Did you enjoy this episode?

Leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Now tell me:

  • How do you make big decisions?
  • What was something you recently had to decide?
  • What keeps you stuck?
  • Do you know your upper limit problem?