It’s My 30th Birthday!

Today is a special day it is my 30th birthday.

 

So today I want to share some of the birthday feels and some of my experiences and what I’m hoping for 30. And you know what I’ve learned in the last three decades, which is so crazy to say. I was thinking back yesterday about being at this older job of mine, I think I was maybe 25 at the time. And I remember, two of my co workers saying, they love being in their 30s, the 30s are so much better than their 20s. And that they wouldn’t go back. And I remember 25 year old Dia being like these people are in denial. But the funny thing is, I’m literally a few hours in and I am loving it already. I’m so excited. For this phase of my life, I’m so excited to see what 30 brings, and to feel a little bit more  stable, like I always felt like a stable person. But to actually be at this new chapter and have all the things going for me that I’m blessed to have. It’s crazy, and it’s exciting. And I just know that this decade is going to be amazing. 

 

So before we talk too much about the year coming up, I want to talk about some of the past. And first, I just I want to share some lessons that I’ve definitely learned over the past 30 years that I think everyone learns at some point in time. And if they don’t, they should. And the first one is that it’s not too late. I think so often we get put on this path.

 

It’s Not Too Late

A lot of times, especially in the world that we live in, where it’s like go to college, get a degree get a job, and the market and the world had made that room, obviously, that’s not necessarily the path you’re going to have. And that even if you do get a degree in Kinesiology, it’s never too late to go ahead and write that book, it’s never too late to start your own business, it’s never too late to do the things that your souls is calling to you. Because I think when you’re 18, and you think “What I want to do for the rest of my life?” it’s completely ridiculous to expect an 18 year olds know what they want to do for the rest of their life. And I think it’s so important to stop and say it’s okay to change my mind. It’s okay to explore new things. It’s okay to grow and evolve. Because if you’re not growing and evolving, evolving, linear, you know, doing the same thing and you’re stuck in your stagnant. I’ve had a really good life. Obviously, I’ve had highs and lows like everyone else. But I don’t want to be doing the same stuff I was doing when I was 22. Just because you know, you grow out of it, and you want to explore new things and do new challenges. So that’s definitely a big lesson that I continue to learn, especially as a business owner. 

 

Not Everyone Has To Be Your Friend 

The next thing is not everyone is your friend. And that’s been really popular on the internet lately.  

But what I mean is some people are seasons, some people are lessons. Some people are just passing ships, and that’s okay. I think what really kind of highlight that, for me is people who continuously show up. I had my first birthday celebration this past Saturday. And, you know, looking around the dinner table.

 

When we were at the restaurant I had my friend Mark who I’ve been friends with since I was 18, who constantly shows up I think he’s missed maybe one birthday and all that time and he had the flu.

 

My friend is Azalea who also known since I was 18. My other best friend Alissa, whose three year old was there. And it was so funny because like, I remember meeting her, I think it was probably my 23rd birthday. And, and we went through, “okay, we’re, I’m at your wedding, okay, now you’re pregnant. Okay, now he’s here and talking.” And it’s those are the people who constantly show up. And even the text messages and phone calls. I’ve gotten a day from people who couldn’t go to dinner on Saturday, just those people who consistently show up and consistently care. 

 

I think it’s so important to get along with people, to have fun, to be open to meeting new people, but to also not feel the need to have everyone in your inner circle, which, as someone who’s a bit of a social butterfly, while I’m also like an anxious introvert, I’m an oxymoron.

 

But to really just appreciate those people and to be okay with having that really small inner circle of people who love you and support you. So that’s definitely something that I’m so glad I’ve learned and so glad I’ve been able to accept doesn’t mean I don’t get disappointed. Sometimes it doesn’t mean that I don’t wish people would show up better. But it means that I can just really sit in the gratefulness of the what I do have and who I do have and the people who do continue to show up and who choose to show up and be there and be a part of my life. 

 

I think the thing that I’m most excited for is just the utter clarity that I’m feeling in my life. And my business right now. As I mentioned in previous episodes, I’m in a transition state in my business where I’m like moving some things around as far as who I work with and what I’m doing, and I’m really excited about something that will be launching this fall. But I am just really, really lit up about the things that are coming and the people I’ll be able to help and serve. And I feel like I’m finally in this place where I have the confidence to put this passion project and this purpose out into the world that I’ve been feeling for years. So I’m really, really excited about that. I recently moved, if you follow my Instagram stories, or even my newsletter, you know, I recently moved to a new place. So it’s just funny that all of these changes are lining up. Right as I go into this new decade of my life, because I love this environment, it’s different, it’s fresh, it feels like this is my 30 year old apartment. And just to be able to be in these different phases, and I’m, you know, looking, I’m still looking into buying a house in the next one to two years. But having the mindset of Okay, like what do I need to do, like I recently paid off some debt, I am planning to, you know, get my finances in order to purchase a house, I am doing different things I you know, started building my team and just different things that seem so adult, for lack of a better word. Um, it’s just, it’s a really exciting time for me. And I just love that they all lined up at the same time. And I feel like that’s a really good sign from the universe that this is my time. And I’m just really ready to step into the beauty. And the purpose of who I’m going to be in this decade of my life. I mean, it’s just so funny if I had thought about the way that I think about the way that things were when I was 20. And you know, just really struggling going to school working all the time to pay for everything. And my religion with my mom or my, my oldest sister and where we are now. And that we have these adult loving relationships, and we communicate and we talk to each other like adults, and I don’t just feel like an oversized child anymore.

 

And it’s just because I woke up this morning with such clarity. And I know I wanted to put something out today about you know, my birthday and just, you know, entering this new decade because it’s huge. And every year that I’ve since I’ve had the business and the blog, I’ve done some sort of birthday post and this one just feels so casual, but so monumental is at the same time. So I guess I’ll do a little bit of like fun, this and this. We’re going to keep this short because obviously like there’s no script here, I’m just you know, we getting personal with you guys. But, uh, five habits that I want to incorporate into this year is better boundaries, which is an ongoing journey for me in life and personal, more fun. I want to definitely have more fun this year, in business and in life, like, again. And it’s so funny because these things are so interconnected, especially you know, when you work from home, and you have your own business, but I want to have more fun if like last year was a year of really just beast mode. And I’m coming out of this season of extreme drive and force in nit and grit. And I want to have more fun and more joy in that. I think also, I want to have more adventure. I traveled a little bit this last year and I’ve been fortunate enough as an adult so you know, have a good amount of travel. But I want to you know, travel uproot myself, I’m a person who’s very comfortable. And I constantly feel like I’m nesting actually told my best friend was the other day when she came over to see the apartment and said, I don’t really want it to leave, like I just want to like nest and get comfortable and be here. So I want to have a little bit more adventure. I want to up my game. That’s definitely the next thing that I want to do. As far as my finances, I want to increase my revenue, I want to make smarter decisions, I want to start planning for retirement, I want to be a financially secure adult in a way that I haven’t been before. Like I said, I’ve been good and I’ve been really blessed this past year, but I want to just take it to the next level and really set myself up for the future. And then the final thing I really want to do is just like focus on my health. A couple of years ago I lost 40 pounds, and I’ve done a pretty good job of like keeping that weight off. But I want to take it to the next level you know, going back to the dentists on a regular like every six months like I’m supposed to, I want to make a workout habit. And not just oh I’ll do because it helps my back which it does but actually you know putting in some cardio just really taking care of my body and my self insight now I think after I lost the weight or while always losing the weight and even now a lot of my journeys been about the mental part of health and then taking care of mental health. You know, hence the podcast creates crushing anxiety, but I want to go even further and just really look into like taking care of my body physically. So I will go ahead and wrap this up because I want to go enjoy my birthday. get some work done relax before I have dinner tonight, but I just wanted to share some thoughts with you on this special. 

 

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

6 Tips For Conquering Your Mornings When You Hate Mornings

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You always hear entrepreneurs talking about the importance of a routine. While I am a serious creature of habit I have to admit I found it hard to find my routine.

I mean I had normal stuff I just organically did like brush my teeth in the morning, drink my lemon water, etc. The things I do at night, shower, watch an episode of American Dad then turn on a guided sleep meditation. But a real routine that was structured and zen and stuff, I didn’t have.

So I started thinking about what I really like and what helps me unwind and just snap out of the never ending loop in my mind.  So I think I finally found my routine and I’m excited to share.

First, let me give you a little back info. I’m in the process of offboarding a major client and upping my workload with another. That means I’m putting in A LOT of hours right now. Which means, as someone who is historically not a morning person…scratch that…that doesn’t really capture the way I felt about the morning…. So let’s try that again. As someone who hates engaging with other humans before 10 am and thinks that mornings are gross it was an interesting transition.

The first day, I set my alarm for an ambitious 5:45 am. Now that fluctuates between 5:30 and 7 am and I’ve been holding strong for a month.

It was vital for me to find ways to make getting up in the morning less tedious so I wanted to share my tips for how to fake your way into being a morning person.

Listen Here:

Follow The 5-Second Rule

If you’ve been in the online space for a while you’re probably familiar with Mel Robbins, author of The 5 Second Rule. Basically, the rule is when you decide to do something you take action in the next 5 seconds so you don’t change your mind. In this case, it means the second that alarm goes out I start counting down, “5, 4, 3, 2, 1,” then my body shoots up and sleep time is over. I’ll be honest, this doesn’t always happen but when I do follow the rule my mornings are the better for it. No snooze button and crappy “20 more minutes” of sleep that really just make you feel more sluggish.

Make Your Alarm Fun

I have an Alexa and I love it. You can program it to use different celebrity recordings to wake you up. Mine is Alec Baldwin telling me that the early bird catches the worm. Another thing I noticed was that having to tell me alarm to stop, “Alexa, stop” is very different than just hitting a button. I feel like the first time you speak on any given day means you’re really awake.

Turn Up The Ac

I have to sleep with it super cold in my apartment. I’m in Texas so this time of year the air conditioner is a constant but at night I turn it down a little lower. One of the first things I do when I get out of bed is crank it up. The cold air that is great for sleeping is not so great for working. Like a rainy day, having the air conditioner too low just makes me want to get under the blankets and be lazy.

Get Some Light But Not Too Much Light

I am a vampire. There I said it. Most weekends unless I have work to do the blinds stay closed and I wait until night time to leave the house. Seriously, I’m in Texas it was in the 80s this weekend and it’s not even summer yet! But when it comes to starting the day I like to open up the blinds in my bedroom. Because the sun isn’t in full effect yet it’s not overpowering early in the morning. Then I turn on my salt lamp for a little extra soft light. I don’t normally turn on the ceiling light until a few hours into work. It just feels less aggressive and more of a soft transition from night to day.

Have Some Warm Lemon Water

I always keep lemons at my home. As an allergy sufferer, one thing that can make mornings hard is that drainage that happens after 7 hours of being horizontal. I feel like my lemon water is a great way to just reset everything and feel a little less yucky when my allergies are worse.

Get A Toothbrush You’re Excited To Use

Up until a few weeks ago, I hadn’t used an electric toothbrush in years. So when I got the opportunity to try the CariPro by Smile Brilliant I was excited. I love using this toothbrush! First of all it just makes my teeth feel so clean. You may know that feeling where you thought you brushed your teeth really well but afterward, you slide your tongue across them and it just doesn’t feel clean? I don’t experience that with my CariPro. It gets my teeth, what I like to call, “dentist level clean.”

It comes with 5 brush modes, is waterproof and holds its charge for up to 30 days! I could go on and on about how clean my teeth feel after using it but instead, I’m excited to give you a chance to try it yourself.

I’ve partnered with Smile Brilliant for a giveaway (insert happy dance 💃)

Enter for your chance to win your very own CariPro Ultrasonic electric toothbrush here.

Finally let me say, not everyone has to be a morning person. While I’ve been imitating one the past month after this season of my life I probably won’t get up as early as I have been. It’s okay, some of us work better at night. The thing is, life doesn’t always work with our preferred sleeping habits. You have a big launch, a client event, a family situation and you have to adjust so these tips are for you, my night owls who need a little help starting their days earlier from time to time.

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Lessons From The Bold Type

Disclosure: Posts on AllTheThingsIDo.com contain affiliate links. For more information see policy.

This is going to be a fun episode. So if you listen to the podcast or read the blog, or on my newsletter, follow me on Instagram or are just a fan (for lack of a better word). I don’t know that I have fans, but whatever I couldn’t think of another word. Chances are if you’re into this podcast that you are like a 25 to 35 year old female who has really big goals and a great work ethic and just really wants to make big changes in the world in your own way. And if that’s the case, then you may watch a show called The Bold. Now, I have been obsessed with this show since the first season premiered three or four years ago. I remember seeing the trailers for it and just thinking Holy crap, like I know two of those main girls from different things. And this looks so good. And then I heard that it’s based on the Cosmopolitan writing staff and I was like, Oh, yeah, I gotta watch this. So needless to say, when it premiered I fell in love with it. Even rewatched it on Hulu after the season was over, waiting for season two to come out. Season Two came out, still loved it. Season Three is going on right now still love it. Then they got renewed for season four. Anyway, it’s a great show. It’s on Freeform. The Bold Type follows the lives of three best friends who all work for Scarlet magazine. Now, while I’m not going to parties in full on ball gowns, and doing photo shoots, I really feel like so many people and young women who are career driven, relate to this show. And I just wanted to today share some lessons from The Bold Type.

 

SPOILERS BELOW
Listen Here:

You Need A Community

And the reason that this is such a present, probably the most obvious lesson from this show is that these three girls really have each other’s back. They’re all very different from each other, but they support each other. And I will probably go into some details of certain episodes whether you watch the show or not. Some of them may feel like spoilers, but if you don’t, they’re still things that you feel here. And you’ll be able to say, “okay, I see that.” So for example, one of them goes through a breakup, and there her friends are with her.

One of them just finds out that she has the BRCA gene, which means she’s more likely to have certain types of cancers. And she has to get her eggs frozen, and she’s like 25 years old, and she has to get her eggs frozen. And her friends are there in the waiting room with her having her back and being super supportive.

One of them discovers that she’s actually into women after dating men her whole life, and they’re completely supportive there. And even the transition of actually being intimate with a woman and how she’s afraid to do certain things. Like both of them are straight but they don’t let that stop them from trying to be supportive and be there for her. And I think that part of the reason that these women are so successful at what they do is because they do have that strong community, they have different interests.

One’s a writer, one’s in the fashion one’s the social media director for the company. And while they’re very different, they are still a community of like minded individuals and the fact that they are driven and caring, and that they want to put good things into the world. And I think when you own your own business, you’re in this online business space, it’s crucial that you have people to support you. And whether that’s in real life or on or online, it’s just really important to have people who get it and who want to see you succeed, and who can be a shoulder to cry on as well as someone to drink champagne with you when things go well.

Don’t Talk Shit In Work Emails

So it’s a major magazine. As you know the past few years many companies get hacked, and the hackers release emails or documents from these companies. And one of the characters does not care for the new head digital department of the magazine. And she talks so much crap in her emails, and then of course they get released. This is just day one logic. Don’t ever talk crap in a work email. Even if you own your own business and you’re sending a message to someone, that can get hacked, you can accidentally send it to the wrong person, like so many things have happened. Refrain from talking crap, I know we all need to vent. But don’t leave a paper trail, have a coffee chat that’s not recorded with a friend if you need to vent and get on a phone call, even text messages you got to be careful with. Don’t say anything in an email, especially on a company server, that you wouldn’t want the person you’re talking to talking about to see it.

First Impressions Lie

Jane is the character who had written some nasty things in the email about this new director of digital. She hated this guy from step one. And I am not gonna lie even watching it I was like “Not a fan, not a fan.” And then there’s a moment where they actually get to know each other a little bit better after the email fiasco. And you see that he is the way that he is for a reason. You see that first impressions can lie.

I even think about this in my own personal life. Some of my closest friends I did not like when I first met them. And we always laugh and joke about it. Like oh, Dia did not like me the first time she met me. And so I think it’s just really important to remember that first impressions live. Now if you see someone kicking a baby, then maybe believe that first impression, but a lot of times, you never know what happened that day for that person, you may have personal hang-ups that you’re reflecting on to this other person. So just be open that sometimes the first impression is a lie.

It’s Okay To Change Your Mind

Jane has dreamed about working at Scarlett since she was a little girl, she happens to get the opportunity. And when she’s there she’s writing she’s, you know, doing well. And she gets the opportunity to write for somewhere else that she’s really passionate about, for lack of a better term that kind of goes to shit. She realizes that she really wishes she was back at Scarlet. And it’s not the easiest transition for her to make. It doesn’t just happen overnight for her to get that old job back. But she felt like she needed to go try this other thing, and then she realized it was the wrong choice. She changed her mind and want it to be back where she originally was.

I think it’s really important for us to let ourselves know that it’s okay to change your mind to whether it’s you want us to do a course or you wanted to work with a certain person or you wanted to start a podcast or whatever the choice is, it’s okay to change your mind. Just because you make a choice doesn’t mean that you have to stick by it for the next five years. And I’m not saying be flaky, but I’m saying be true to yourself and know that situations change. Things aren’t always so black and white. And a lot of times when you think you want something, once you get in the situation, it’s not what you want. So just remember that it is okay to change your mind as long as you know, stand by that change. And, you know, our own it and say, “You know what, I thought I wanted this, but I don’t. And that’s okay, but this is what I think I want now.” That’s really just what life is you’re just growing and evolving to situations and the world around you and a striving for new and bigger goals.

Do What You Need To Do Until You Can Do What You Want To Do

I feel like this may be a bit of a pain point for some people, or some people may even disagree with this. Because a lot of times, you know, you hear people say, “If you want something, just go for it, if you really want it, you’ll make it happen.” And that is I do believe that that’s true to an extent. Like if you really want something you can make it happen. But at the same time, bills have to be paid, dues have to be paid. And you have to do what you have to do.

A good example of this is in season three Sutton who works in the style area of the magazine. She loved that she wanted to do that. And then she starts doing a little bit of design for a shoot and she discovers how much she loves it and how much she missed it. So now she really wants to be a designer. And she’s very scared to tell her boss,  Oliver, who’s just one of the best characters on TV. He tells her, you know, stay in this position, and do the work that you have to do, build those connections with the existing designers. It’s going to help you so much in the long run. So while wants to focus on like becoming a designer, she also realizes she still has bills to pay, she has a good job that she actually enjoys even though she believes she’ll want to do something else a little bit more.

She is doing the double work, she’s working a full-time job and then going to the design workshop that she got into at night. She’s doing both things. And it’s because that’s the smartest path for her. And I think a lot of times with online business people are like, well, I can’t do it until I can quit my job. What I did, I waited and like I was doing double duty, I was working full time and then coming home and working all night to build my business. And not everyone can do that. Not everyone wants to do that. But it was what I needed to do, I needed to make sure that when I left my nine to five, I was going to be financially taken care of because it’s just me. No one, no one else is like helping me pay for anything. And it wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t the best thing in the world. But it did set me up for success. It got me in the place that I want it to be. So I did what I needed to do until I could do what I wanted to do.

Take Big Chances

I could give you so many different examples of this one on the show because these women are constantly stepping into their own greatness and taking chances to get the things that they want, whether it’s in love or business. But I think what it shows you (and this is going to tie into the next lesson) is taking action will always get you further than not taking action. And to go back to another lesson, if you don’t take that action and take that big chance, you may not know that something doesn’t work for you. So you’re just pining after it. For example, let’s say you’ve always wanted to live in New York, and you just never do it. You just never do it. And so you’re always thinking, “Man, I wish I lived in New York. Man, I wish I would have moved to New York” and then you’re 90 on your deathbed thinking “I wish I would have moved New York,” then you have that regret. But let’s say that you go ahead and say you know what, “I’m going to move into New York” and you start taking the steps to make that happen. And you get up there and you hate it. Then you end up going back home. And that’s completely fine because you know what I tried it, I said I wanted to do it, I did it, it wasn’t for me. Or you go out there and you love it, you meet the person of your dreams, you get the job of your dreams, and everything is grand. So just take those big chances, because even if they don’t come out the way that you want, it’s okay to change your mind, then you know that you tried and you know what the result was, and you’re not left wondering.

Know That Big Risks Might Not Turn Out How You Expect

Back when Jane left Scarlet magazine, she thought this was going to be perfect and the right choice. And it didn’t come out the way that she thought it would. And there are so many different things that happen on the show that these characters go through or these choices that they make. And a lot of times they don’t turn out the way that you expect. And I think that’s what your 20s and your early 30s are about, taking risks and seeing what happens and making actions and knowing that the plan can change.

Those are some lessons that I’ve learned from The Bold Type that I think really applies to online business and just really having a happier life. If you don’t watch the show, I highly, highly recommend it. And I’m sorry if I ruined anything for you. I did say these would be some spoilers at the beginning. But it’s definitely one of my favorite shows. It does such a great job of showing female friendships. So I know that the first two seasons are on Hulu, the third season is currently airing and returning with the fourth season in 2020. So it’s definitely worth checking out.

I have to admit I am a tiny Jane. I always was like oh no the Sutton/KAT mix but no, I’m definitely a tiny Jane with the thinking and the list and the planning and the writing.

Yep, I’m a tiny Jane

Transcribed by https://otter.ai