If your eyes are puffy from crying last night, you probably watched Grey’s Anatomy. If you woke up in the middle of the night with a hole in your heart, you probably watched Grey’s Anatomy last night. If you talked about flying to California (or where ever she lives) to yell at Shondra Rhimes, you probably watched Grey’s Anatomy last night. If someone asked how you’re doing this morning and your replied, “The love of my life died last night!” You probably watched the most heart breaking episode of the critically acclaimed show currently in its 11th season.
Last night after saving the lives of four individuals who had been in a car accident, Dr. Derek Shepard’s SUV was struck by a semi and he was taken to arguably the worst hospital in the history of the world where he later died!
I could go into every horrible detail that took place over that soul crushing hour, seeing some jerk speeding down the street in a sports car (who I ultimately believe started the chain of events that lead to Derek’s untimely death). The last time we will ever hear Dr. Derek Shepard’s cheesy catch phase, “It’s a beautiful day to save lives.” The chilling foreshadowing when Derek arrives at the worst hospital ever and the doctor basically tells the EMTs “take him somewhere else!” Hearing Derek’s voice overs as the medical team makes mistake after mistake. When Meredith imagines going to the hospital and everything is okay but its only a daydream. And finally watching Derek take his last breath. But instead I want to write a formal goodbye to the man who inspired the words, “Pick me, choose me, love me.”
Dr. Derek Shepard,
I was 15 the first time you came into my bedroom and whoa! Your smile, your laugh… I was in love. I got understandably mad at you at the end of season one when we discovered the fierce Addison Montgomery (aka your secret wife), but had to forgive you after I learned the details.
Your love for Meredith made me want to fall in love. The way you looked at her, didn’t care that she screwed boys like a “whore on tequila”, the fact you let her have another person and got her dark and twisty personality. That you didn’t care when Cristina crawled into your bed.
Sure you made mistakes but it was the way you owned up to them that made me love you more.
I love the way you embraced Maggie when you found out she was Ellis’ daughter because as you put it, “You’re great with sisters.”
I like to imagine you are with Mark now. You guys are in heaven where you have dinner with him and Lexi and George. You see patients who you lost and they let you know, that they are at peace.
While Baby Bailey may not remember his dad, he will have his big sister Zola and his mom to tell him all about you.
I’ll never forget when Dr. Bailey gave you crap about doing Zola’s hair. It was such a sweet and funny moment. It was always beautiful how you and Mer, took in this little girl with no one and gave her a family.
As much as I love you Derek, I am pissed at you for not being more careful! For leaving us! I’ll eventually heal but poor Meredith will only become more dark and twisty. She lost her parents, her sister, countless friends and patients (not to mention her person moving across the country) but you are the love of her life, everyone else will always be second best.
Please come back!!!!
Okay I know that’s not possibly… well almost anything is possible in Shondraland.
Forever missing you,