In this episode of Creatives Crushing Anxiety, we dive into attachment styles and how they affect your business. Based on the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Attachment theory is all about how we interact with others.
A few years ago my therapist suggested I read the book Attached. This is about the 3 common attachment styles. While I 100% recommend the book I’ll give you a broad overview of what the book is about.
- ANXIOUS people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner’s ability to love them back.
- AVOIDANT people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness.
- SECURE people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving.
Now I won’t make you guess but I actually a common hybrid…I have an anxious-avoidant attachment style.. Which means I both crave fear and crave intimacy… yeah, I’m a treat.
Since reading the book I always catch myself spotting people’s attachment styles but not just in romance but in business. The more I thought about it the more I realized how much impact they really do have on all areas of our life.
- This is the person who is always sure a client will fire them or no one will book with them.
- This cockblocks the shit out of your business.
- Clients can sense your anxious energy and it’s a turnoff.
- You spend too much time worrying about things that haven’t happened.
- You want to do your own thing.
- You’re not an adapter. So when a client, coach or program tells you to act a certain way your reaction is to do things the way you want and not to bend.
- This can be a double-edged sword because that rebel way probably got you to where you are but on the other side it can leave clients feeling unsupported or frustrated that you don’t “follow the rules.”
- You’re confident in your thoughts and the value you bring to the table but you aren’t threatened by new ideas or learning a new way.
- Remember that not everyone has your secure style and some clients or team members may require more obvious gratitude or agency.
You obviously have some of both types of you and its all about the approach. When clients approach you in a way feels good to you, you bend to their will and do what you can to make them happy but if you let resentment build up you will start to revolt.
That is why it’s so important for you to set boundaries. Boundaries give you a sense of control as both an anxious and an avoidant.
Listen to the episode for a more in-depth breakdown and check out the book linked below.
Mentioned in this episode:
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
You can subscribe to the podcast on your favorite platform:
Thanks for listening! <3
Did you enjoy this episode?
Leave a comment and let me know what you think.