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This is going to be a fun episode. So if you listen to the podcast or read the blog, or on my newsletter, follow me on Instagram or are just a fan (for lack of a better word). I don’t know that I have fans, but whatever I couldn’t think of another word. Chances are if you’re into this podcast that you are like a 25 to 35 year old female who has really big goals and a great work ethic and just really wants to make big changes in the world in your own way. And if that’s the case, then you may watch a show called The Bold. Now, I have been obsessed with this show since the first season premiered three or four years ago. I remember seeing the trailers for it and just thinking Holy crap, like I know two of those main girls from different things. And this looks so good. And then I heard that it’s based on the Cosmopolitan writing staff and I was like, Oh, yeah, I gotta watch this. So needless to say, when it premiered I fell in love with it. Even rewatched it on Hulu after the season was over, waiting for season two to come out. Season Two came out, still loved it. Season Three is going on right now still love it. Then they got renewed for season four. Anyway, it’s a great show. It’s on Freeform. The Bold Type follows the lives of three best friends who all work for Scarlet magazine. Now, while I’m not going to parties in full on ball gowns, and doing photo shoots, I really feel like so many people and young women who are career driven, relate to this show. And I just wanted to today share some lessons from The Bold Type.
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You Need A Community
And the reason that this is such a present, probably the most obvious lesson from this show is that these three girls really have each other’s back. They’re all very different from each other, but they support each other. And I will probably go into some details of certain episodes whether you watch the show or not. Some of them may feel like spoilers, but if you don’t, they’re still things that you feel here. And you’ll be able to say, “okay, I see that.” So for example, one of them goes through a breakup, and there her friends are with her.
One of them just finds out that she has the BRCA gene, which means she’s more likely to have certain types of cancers. And she has to get her eggs frozen, and she’s like 25 years old, and she has to get her eggs frozen. And her friends are there in the waiting room with her having her back and being super supportive.
One of them discovers that she’s actually into women after dating men her whole life, and they’re completely supportive there. And even the transition of actually being intimate with a woman and how she’s afraid to do certain things. Like both of them are straight but they don’t let that stop them from trying to be supportive and be there for her. And I think that part of the reason that these women are so successful at what they do is because they do have that strong community, they have different interests.
One’s a writer, one’s in the fashion one’s the social media director for the company. And while they’re very different, they are still a community of like minded individuals and the fact that they are driven and caring, and that they want to put good things into the world. And I think when you own your own business, you’re in this online business space, it’s crucial that you have people to support you. And whether that’s in real life or on or online, it’s just really important to have people who get it and who want to see you succeed, and who can be a shoulder to cry on as well as someone to drink champagne with you when things go well.
Don’t Talk Shit In Work Emails
So it’s a major magazine. As you know the past few years many companies get hacked, and the hackers release emails or documents from these companies. And one of the characters does not care for the new head digital department of the magazine. And she talks so much crap in her emails, and then of course they get released. This is just day one logic. Don’t ever talk crap in a work email. Even if you own your own business and you’re sending a message to someone, that can get hacked, you can accidentally send it to the wrong person, like so many things have happened. Refrain from talking crap, I know we all need to vent. But don’t leave a paper trail, have a coffee chat that’s not recorded with a friend if you need to vent and get on a phone call, even text messages you got to be careful with. Don’t say anything in an email, especially on a company server, that you wouldn’t want the person you’re talking to talking about to see it.
First Impressions Lie
Jane is the character who had written some nasty things in the email about this new director of digital. She hated this guy from step one. And I am not gonna lie even watching it I was like “Not a fan, not a fan.” And then there’s a moment where they actually get to know each other a little bit better after the email fiasco. And you see that he is the way that he is for a reason. You see that first impressions can lie.
I even think about this in my own personal life. Some of my closest friends I did not like when I first met them. And we always laugh and joke about it. Like oh, Dia did not like me the first time she met me. And so I think it’s just really important to remember that first impressions live. Now if you see someone kicking a baby, then maybe believe that first impression, but a lot of times, you never know what happened that day for that person, you may have personal hang-ups that you’re reflecting on to this other person. So just be open that sometimes the first impression is a lie.
It’s Okay To Change Your Mind
Jane has dreamed about working at Scarlett since she was a little girl, she happens to get the opportunity. And when she’s there she’s writing she’s, you know, doing well. And she gets the opportunity to write for somewhere else that she’s really passionate about, for lack of a better term that kind of goes to shit. She realizes that she really wishes she was back at Scarlet. And it’s not the easiest transition for her to make. It doesn’t just happen overnight for her to get that old job back. But she felt like she needed to go try this other thing, and then she realized it was the wrong choice. She changed her mind and want it to be back where she originally was.
I think it’s really important for us to let ourselves know that it’s okay to change your mind to whether it’s you want us to do a course or you wanted to work with a certain person or you wanted to start a podcast or whatever the choice is, it’s okay to change your mind. Just because you make a choice doesn’t mean that you have to stick by it for the next five years. And I’m not saying be flaky, but I’m saying be true to yourself and know that situations change. Things aren’t always so black and white. And a lot of times when you think you want something, once you get in the situation, it’s not what you want. So just remember that it is okay to change your mind as long as you know, stand by that change. And, you know, our own it and say, “You know what, I thought I wanted this, but I don’t. And that’s okay, but this is what I think I want now.” That’s really just what life is you’re just growing and evolving to situations and the world around you and a striving for new and bigger goals.
Do What You Need To Do Until You Can Do What You Want To Do
I feel like this may be a bit of a pain point for some people, or some people may even disagree with this. Because a lot of times, you know, you hear people say, “If you want something, just go for it, if you really want it, you’ll make it happen.” And that is I do believe that that’s true to an extent. Like if you really want something you can make it happen. But at the same time, bills have to be paid, dues have to be paid. And you have to do what you have to do.
A good example of this is in season three Sutton who works in the style area of the magazine. She loved that she wanted to do that. And then she starts doing a little bit of design for a shoot and she discovers how much she loves it and how much she missed it. So now she really wants to be a designer. And she’s very scared to tell her boss, Oliver, who’s just one of the best characters on TV. He tells her, you know, stay in this position, and do the work that you have to do, build those connections with the existing designers. It’s going to help you so much in the long run. So while wants to focus on like becoming a designer, she also realizes she still has bills to pay, she has a good job that she actually enjoys even though she believes she’ll want to do something else a little bit more.
She is doing the double work, she’s working a full-time job and then going to the design workshop that she got into at night. She’s doing both things. And it’s because that’s the smartest path for her. And I think a lot of times with online business people are like, well, I can’t do it until I can quit my job. What I did, I waited and like I was doing double duty, I was working full time and then coming home and working all night to build my business. And not everyone can do that. Not everyone wants to do that. But it was what I needed to do, I needed to make sure that when I left my nine to five, I was going to be financially taken care of because it’s just me. No one, no one else is like helping me pay for anything. And it wasn’t ideal. It wasn’t the best thing in the world. But it did set me up for success. It got me in the place that I want it to be. So I did what I needed to do until I could do what I wanted to do.
Take Big Chances
I could give you so many different examples of this one on the show because these women are constantly stepping into their own greatness and taking chances to get the things that they want, whether it’s in love or business. But I think what it shows you (and this is going to tie into the next lesson) is taking action will always get you further than not taking action. And to go back to another lesson, if you don’t take that action and take that big chance, you may not know that something doesn’t work for you. So you’re just pining after it. For example, let’s say you’ve always wanted to live in New York, and you just never do it. You just never do it. And so you’re always thinking, “Man, I wish I lived in New York. Man, I wish I would have moved to New York” and then you’re 90 on your deathbed thinking “I wish I would have moved New York,” then you have that regret. But let’s say that you go ahead and say you know what, “I’m going to move into New York” and you start taking the steps to make that happen. And you get up there and you hate it. Then you end up going back home. And that’s completely fine because you know what I tried it, I said I wanted to do it, I did it, it wasn’t for me. Or you go out there and you love it, you meet the person of your dreams, you get the job of your dreams, and everything is grand. So just take those big chances, because even if they don’t come out the way that you want, it’s okay to change your mind, then you know that you tried and you know what the result was, and you’re not left wondering.
Know That Big Risks Might Not Turn Out How You Expect
Back when Jane left Scarlet magazine, she thought this was going to be perfect and the right choice. And it didn’t come out the way that she thought it would. And there are so many different things that happen on the show that these characters go through or these choices that they make. And a lot of times they don’t turn out the way that you expect. And I think that’s what your 20s and your early 30s are about, taking risks and seeing what happens and making actions and knowing that the plan can change.
Those are some lessons that I’ve learned from The Bold Type that I think really applies to online business and just really having a happier life. If you don’t watch the show, I highly, highly recommend it. And I’m sorry if I ruined anything for you. I did say these would be some spoilers at the beginning. But it’s definitely one of my favorite shows. It does such a great job of showing female friendships. So I know that the first two seasons are on Hulu, the third season is currently airing and returning with the fourth season in 2020. So it’s definitely worth checking out.
I have to admit I am a tiny Jane. I always was like oh no the Sutton/KAT mix but no, I’m definitely a tiny Jane with the thinking and the list and the planning and the writing.
Yep, I’m a tiny Jane
Transcribed by https://otter.ai