Ode to the Wedding Registry

Photo From Pixabay
Photo From Pixabay

So Wedding season is upon us… but at this age it’s more like the wedding years are upon us. Every week is a wedding, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party or wedding announcement… you get my drift. What does all this mean for you, the one who isn’t close to being married (like your GPS can’t even locate a potential spouse)? Love? Happiness? No… well, not exclusively. What it means is presents. To clarify, buying presents. Of course, you want to support your friends but let’s be honest….

22 Thoughts you have when looking at a Wedding Gift Registry

  1. You’re both almost 30 and neither of you has a blender? If you’ve gone this long without one, you don’t need one!
  2. $60.00 for 4 wine glasses? I got mine at the Dollar Tree!
  3. Do people still register at Walmart? That’d be so much cheaper.
  4. I want a wine decanter.
  5. Where are the “we’re good friends but I have student loans and a budget to consider” priced gifts?
  6. I can afford that, but it’s ugly.
  7. Screw this I’ll get them a gift card…. $40? $50…I should ask my mom what amount doesn’t seem cheap.
  8. $60 for a tea kettle???? Don’t they have a microwave or a sauce pan?
  9. I’m not sure what that is but it looks cool… Maybe it’s a married people thing?
  10. Holy shit! That must be the “best friend with a trust fund” price.
  11. Can I register for my birthday?
  12. You’re getting married why do you need a mini fridge?
  13. You guys don’t already have towels? I ain’t buying it!
  14. I wonder how often they would really use that pizza stone? Like how often will they pull it out and be like…. “Dia got us this!” 🙂
  15. …For two… way to rub it in… we get it, you’re getting married.
  16. I’m totally putting that on my birthday registry.
  17. Yeah, there is no way they really expect to get that.
  18. I saw that at Costco for like $20 cheaper…. I wonder if it would matter if I bought it there instead?
  19. Oh,that is totally (insert bride’s name here) !
  20. They better have some awesome get-togethers with all this stuff
  21. How many knives does one person need? I think I have like 4….Maybe it’s some Dexter type shit….
  22. Shit, what am I going to get them?

Edited by M.L. Scarbrough




  1. Lauren

    This cracked me up! It is such a season, and then give it a few years and it will be baby shower season!

  2. Carol

    Too funny! I remember those days when I was barely scraping by and had to buy wedding gifts. I seem to recall having some of your same thoughts! Thanks for the laugh!

  3. Dia

    That’s exactly what I’m dealing with haha and now the older I get it’s not just “buy me a gift..” It’s be in my wedding and buy this dress you don’t get to pick out and will only wear once… you know what will be fun a destination wedding…so you can spend your money and vacation days to spend my happy day with me lol…
    It’s like I’m happy for you but maybe you do the big day and then I take you guys to Ihop a week later and we celebrate then lol

  4. Allison Jones

    This is hilarious. I wonder if people had these thoughts when looking at my wedding registry a couple summer’s ago.

    Happy New Year,

  5. michelle

    Girl, I am right there with you. I have been a bridesmaids three times so far and have so many friends getting married. I have and can relate to all of these thoughts. I have even had the thought of “isn’t my being a bridesmaid and paying for my dress & the bachelorette party gift enough”?

  6. Candy

    I had to laugh while reading this all so true.

  7. Dia

    Haha thanks Candy.

  8. Cori

    Very funny, Dia! I know I thought some of this when I saw my friends’ registries. When my husband and I did ours, we were questioned about why certain things weren’t on there: a china pattern, silver pattern, dishes, etc. We already had that stuff! I usually end up giving gift cards, because then they can buy what they actually want.

  9. Heather Miller

    Do you still I’ve to get my friend something if it’s her third wedding? Feel like I’m continuously getting this friend wedding gifts.

  10. Dia

    That’s smart! I think that it’s just better to do gift cards or cash. People can always use cash.

  11. Dia

    Haha I honestly probably wouldn’t I am all for trying to find love but you shouldn’t have to get her 3 wedding gifts lol

  12. Angie Scheie

    Haha! Birthday registries, I like that!! And you’d actually be surprised how much a pizza stone gets used. Random things like that I also remember who got it for us much more than silverware or towels :). Oh…wedding season…lol.

  13. Bree Hogan

    This had me in stitches Dia, it is so so true what you have said! Love it!

  14. Jenny

    Which reminds me, I have a wedding gift I need to order, from a registry. I just don’t think I can convince myself that the $100 plate is a good gift!

  15. Dia

    It’s like, was this plate made of gold? haha

  16. Dia

    I got a pizza stone for Christmas…it’s still in the box haha

  17. Dia

    Thanks Bree glad you enjoyed it.

  18. Jennifer Corter

    Hahaa, I loved reading this! Seriously, my husband and I just registered at Wal-Mart. We didn’t need any fancy tea kettles or wineglasses! I think the most beautiful and cherished gifts that we received were the handmade ones!

  19. Dia

    Haha on behalf of your wedding guests, thank you lol

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