Ode to the Wedding Registry

Photo From Pixabay
Photo From Pixabay

So Wedding season is upon us… but at this age it’s more like the wedding years are upon us. Every week is a wedding, a bridal shower, a bachelorette party or wedding announcement… you get my drift. What does all this mean for you, the one who isn’t close to being married (like your GPS can’t even locate a potential spouse)? Love? Happiness? No… well, not exclusively. What it means is presents. To clarify, buying presents. Of course, you want to support your friends but let’s be honest….

22 Thoughts you have when looking at a Wedding Gift Registry

  1. You’re both almost 30 and neither of you has a blender? If you’ve gone this long without one, you don’t need one!
  2. $60.00 for 4 wine glasses? I got mine at the Dollar Tree!
  3. Do people still register at Walmart? That’d be so much cheaper.
  4. I want a wine decanter.
  5. Where are the “we’re good friends but I have student loans and a budget to consider” priced gifts?
  6. I can afford that, but it’s ugly.
  7. Screw this I’ll get them a gift card…. $40? $50…I should ask my mom what amount doesn’t seem cheap.
  8. $60 for a tea kettle???? Don’t they have a microwave or a sauce pan?
  9. I’m not sure what that is but it looks cool… Maybe it’s a married people thing?
  10. Holy shit! That must be the “best friend with a trust fund” price.
  11. Can I register for my birthday?
  12. You’re getting married why do you need a mini fridge?
  13. You guys don’t already have towels? I ain’t buying it!
  14. I wonder how often they would really use that pizza stone? Like how often will they pull it out and be like…. “Dia got us this!” 🙂
  15. …For two… way to rub it in… we get it, you’re getting married.
  16. I’m totally putting that on my birthday registry.
  17. Yeah, there is no way they really expect to get that.
  18. I saw that at Costco for like $20 cheaper…. I wonder if it would matter if I bought it there instead?
  19. Oh,that is totally (insert bride’s name here) !
  20. They better have some awesome get-togethers with all this stuff
  21. How many knives does one person need? I think I have like 4….Maybe it’s some Dexter type shit….
  22. Shit, what am I going to get them?

Edited by M.L. Scarbrough



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