On advice…

“Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn’t.”

— Erica Mann Jong

My Thoughts: So often we ask for advice in hopes someone will just tell us what we want to hear instead what we need to hear and probably already know. It’s the reason so much advice gets ignored. I try to be very careful with giving advice because things aren’t always black and white, and the view from the outside looking in is very different from the view from the inside looking out. My advice on asking/giving advice? If you’re the one asking, ask yourself, “How do I think they will respond” and “How do I hope they will respond“… if the answers are different then you probably know what you need to do. If you’re the one being asked for advice try this trick I use, when ever someone asks me for advice I don’t feel comfortable giving (We all have that friend that asks for dating advice and if you tell her you think she should break up with her partner she never does and then resents you for not liking him) I answer their questions with a questions, till they find the answer themselves.

“Should I break up with him?”

“Do you feel like you should?”


“Why do you feel that way?”

By that point they have usually said what they need to do. Sometimes just asking the right questions allows them to talk themselves through their feelings. In fact feel free to try this with yourself, no one knows what you want and what you need like you do.

Do it for love,

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