On knowing when enough is enough…

My Thoughts: I have this resilience about me. I get down in the dumps but I always “try, try again” no matter how scary. I’m that contradictory person who says things like, “I’m one more failed relationship from becoming a nun”…. but then I try again and love like my little glass like heart has never been shattered.

I also try to be forgiving, I guess part of me wants to believe that if you can show someone unconditional love, eventually they will appreciate it and throw less hurricane like conditions at you (I promise this is going somewhere).

I’ve done this to a fault. I make excuses for people flat-out treating me like shit because I want to believe persistence is key and sometimes people just need to push the limits to see how much you care.

The thing with pushing the limits is there has to be some limit. There has to be a point where you decide to let go, where you have to stop trying to prove yourself to people. Prove you won’t betray them, prove you won’t let them down, prove you are different. If you are just constantly jumping through hoops and dodging their emotional bullets to prove yourself you won’t ever be happy.

I ended a relationship that I put everything into, I bent over backwards to try to make it work and it got to the point where I was miserable trying so hard to make it work without getting the same in return. Feeling like someone’s option and not their choice. It finally got to the point where I had to let it go. It was heartbreaking. I was telling a friend maybe I was too hasty about it and she pointed out, “Yeah you’re sad and it’s hard but you were just as sad before. At least now you’re free to move on and see what else is out there.”

With anything in life sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Am I running towards something or just running in circles? Am I getting where I want to be or just wearing myself out?”

*I am not sure who the quote is originally by. I came across it on an article on MindBodyGreen by Shannon Kaiser :

10 Empowering Quotes From Anyone Who Want to be Happy

14 comments

  1. Lakisha

    OMG I’m totally the same way. I always want to see the best in people and I struggle figuring out when “enough is enough” but we all live and learn.

  2. Dia

    Exactly and thats all you can do. I held on too long after things started to go downhill but I don’t regret the experience that realtionship taught me a lot about what I want and need in a partner and he actually inspired me to start blogging so I wouldn’t take back out year together at all.

  3. Camile

    Thanks for sharing. I think many of us can relate to this post. It has sometimes taken me way too long to realize when enough is enough. However, fortunately I can’t recall any times when I experienced regret once I made up my mind that I had reached my limit.

  4. Dia

    You know it’s right when you hit that certain point (limit) but it’s still hard to let go sometimes.
    I don’t think I’ve experienced regret but I’ve had moments of self doubt and it’s really jsut a reflextion of the saddness of giving up on something you worked so hard to make work in anything.

  5. Joy

    I know it’s so annoying to hear, but by letting go of some of the hardest things, you’ll also be introduced to so of the greatest. It takes courage and a tough skin, but it sounds like you’re doing well at getting up and trying again. Lovely post, my friend! (And I love your metaphor about your glass heart – SO GOOD!)

  6. CAROL CASSARA

    I have way too much endurance and have hung on wayyyy too long. I hope I’ve learned as I’ve aged, though.

  7. Dia

    Thank you! It’s so true I had to break away from a bad situation to focus on good ones and discover more.

  8. T austin

    It takes great strength to know your limits and learn when to walk away…good for you!

  9. Clare Speer

    Such truths and thanks for sharing this! Sometimes we are not “giving up” or “quitting” – we are moving in another direction. Thanks for your thoughts!

  10. Dia

    You are so right! Another dirction is often the better one for you.

  11. Shannon

    Perks of being a wallflower is indeed my favorite movie 🙂 Have you seen it? And I love that quote!

    I always loved the quotes “And so it goes” and “This too shall pass” such simple reminders that life goes on and not everything is permanent.

    Lovely read 🙂

  12. Dia

    Thanks Shannon! I remember hearing it on the trailer and knowing I had to see the movie. Wonderful cast.

  13. candy

    I still try to see the best in people, here is the but, I have also learned to step back and really see what the person is like and distance myself if need be. I don’t have to like or associate with everyone I just happen to know or work with.

  14. Dia

    This wasn’t a choice that was made lightly. You can see the best in people without being a doormat, victim or fool.

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