There is a huge hole in my heart. One that I can’t understand. It seemed like for decades things were improving. Freedom for slaves, voting for women and minorities, gay marriage and transgender rights and then something like 9/11, the ISIS killings, Boston bombing, the Sandy Hook massacre and then the Orlando Pulse shooting happen.
I keep hearing on the news that the act of terrorism that took place Sunday morning June 12th
was the deadly mass shooting in United States History and it makes my heart physically ache.
49 beautiful lives snuffed out when they were just out having a good time. It’s insane to me. I think of the times I went to Gay bars with friends just to dance and get away from guys trying to hit on me, before any club gay or straight just became too exhausting for me. I think of my lesbian sister who goes to gay establishments with her girlfriend on a regular basis. I think of my friends gay and straight who still go to clubs on a regular basis, who were probably at clubs themselves at the time of the attack.
DON’T BE CONFUSED! This time, it was at a gay club next time it could be at a straight bar or a baseball game or a Walmart, I mean why not? There has already been mass shootings at high schools, colleges, movie theaters, shopping malls and elementary schools..to name a few. It can happen anywhere to anyone. We are just as lucky to be alive as the people who walked out of that club are to be alive. Then there are the unlucky who didn’t make it. If you haven’t gotten a chance to learn more about those lost during this attack you can learn more about their stories here.
I’m not here to talk about politics
I’m not here to say anyone of the Muslim nation needs to be deported or held in modern concentration camps.
I’m not here to say that all guns should be taken off the streets.
I have opinions about these things but that’s not what I’m here to talk about.
I’m here to talk about humanity.
We have to do better and we have to be better.
It feels like humanity is just a myth at times.
The civil unrest.
I cry for all of us and our potential fate.
I don’t know how people want to bring children into a world that is so cold and so scary.
Beautiful people lost their lives and many are hurt or injured
How is any human capable of that level of hate?
Everyone keeps saying that hate will always win over love but it’s hard to feel like that’s true sometimes. Hate spreads like wildfire while love tends to spread like molasses. How is it the world keeps getting smarter and making so much progress in technology, science, and medicine but hate and the acts of hate continue to increase? We can find treatments to something as deadly as Ebola but the education of love is lost.
A rising star no longer shines.
Less than 24 hours before the Pulse tragedy I was learning of another tragedy when 22-year-old Christina Grimmie was gunned down in cold blood. As if the loss of life wasn’t tragic enough some of the responses to this senseless act of violence really shook me.
I was sitting in bed Saturday afternoon looking at this beautiful young woman’s Twitter account. Just hours before her death she had posted an upbeat video, so alive, so happy, inviting people to what she didn’t know would be her last performance,
What some people may not know is Christina’s death wasn’t immediate. Many people had hoped by some miracle she would survive the 3 gunshots she took. After I watched the video in her last tweet I read a comment that I cannot forget and that made my heart break even further.
“I’m glad you got shot. Have fun on your deathbed.”
I know that this comment was a small comment under what was a truly beautiful amount of kind ones of prayers and condolences but it was just so nasty I thought, “when did we become this way?” I know I should focus on the positive ones and I am trying to but that one I can’t get out of my head. That one I don’t understand. I want to believe that that humans are inherently good and that if something like this happens we all automatically feel compassion and sorrow for the life lost.
I know people have been trolling others online for decades but how are people this way? We aren’t born with this kind of evil in our heart, we can’t be, I refuse to believe it.
There are so many other cases of this uncontrollable hate. Earlier this month a dear friend of mine lost his 23-year-old cousin to a senseless act of violence. A beautiful mother of 3 was gunned down alongside her boyfriend by her ex-boyfriend just for moving on.
I don’t know how to wrap this post up because if we are being honest, I can’t. I can’t make some great statement about how love overcomes hate, I can’t create some wonderful political plan that will make the gun carrying and anti-gun communities agree. I can’t make everyone happy.
What can I do?
The only thing any of us can really do. I can be better. I can practice love more instead of hate. I can support people who are different and try to understand those differences instead of hate them or fear them. I can teach those around me to the same. I can teach my little sister and my nephew the importance of kindness.
I can speak out against injustice, I can say something when I see it something. I can ask questions when things just don’t seem right.
Right now I can spread some love and try to give hopes for a better tomorrow. Here are a few videos and articles to help us remember that there are a lot more people filled with love than hate out there.
Much love and peace to you all,