The Balanced Business Experience In Action Series
In this episode of Creatives Crushing Anxiety, I wrap up the 3-part series The Balanced Business Experience in Action where I take you through my seven-step methodology and how I used it to buy my first house. Since this is the last video, I decided, and if you’re listening and not watching, you can’t see it, but I’m going to tell you what it is, I decided to wear my “new home who dis?” shirt that I actually wore on the day that I closed on this house.
Your Inner Circle/Support System
So I’m gonna be totally honest, this is the episode that I was the most excited about recording because I get to go into support systems. Now obviously, if you’re using this methodology, in a business sense, this will be a little bit different. But typically, with the support systems, what we do is we look at:
- Who’s in your inner circle?
- What roles do they play?
- What do you talk to them about?
- Who do you feel responsible for?
…Basically the people in your life or if it’s business, the people in your life and business because it all obviously ties in.
My Biggest Supporter
For me, my biggest supporter was my big sister, Alicia. She previously bought a house about five years before I did. And she had been telling me for years, “You should buy a house, you should buy a house….” and I was like, “I don’t want to buy a house.” And then once I decided I wanted to, and I had that bug. It was like, gotta do it.
She was the person that I talked to about everything! Even once I signed on [to buy] the house, and I was picking out decor, I would be sending her pictures of stuff.
What do you think of this? What do you think of that?
And she got sick of me, she was like, “Don’t send me any more pictures of couches, or beds or whatever.
The way that I used her as a support system wasn’t just, hey, you’ve experienced this before? What knowledge can you give me so that maybe I don’t run into some of the problems that you did? Or so that I can just get from A to Z faster? What are the tips and tricks? Which, obviously, in the business aspect, this may be like something like your mentor, your coach, who they can say, “Okay, well, I’ve done this before, I want it to be easier for you. Here’s what I know” And that’s exactly what she did for me.
Another thing that she definitely did for me was emotional support because when you’re trying to buy a house, it is an exhausting, emotional, exciting experience.
A lot of people don’t know this story. And I’m going to share it so that you guys can see that it’s not like everything was just so super easy for me to do this. It was a lot of work. If you haven’t, go back and listen to the other two episodes. But in the last episode, I was talking about the debt to income ratio, and all the things that I needed to do in order to get ready to buy a house, and a lot of that was challenging. A lot of times it was like, “Okay, do I want to buy this? Or do I want to save this? Oh, my stimulus check came? Okay. Oh, I’m going to put it toward the credit card versus getting this thing that I really want.”
One week, in early March, I decided to go see a new build. It was like a new subdivision that was being built here in San Antonio. And before that, I had been looking on like realtor.com and all those websites, nonstop at houses picking things I liked.
I remember there was one house that I completely fell in love with. I was showing everyone listening. And I would go look at it every so often because it was perfect. I remember the day that it sold. I was actually on a date. Well, like we were at my house watching Hamilton because I love Hamilton and pandemic. I saw it and I said, “Oh my god, I have to call my sister and tell her.” And she was like, “Sister, I’m so sorry.” But this isn’t the story that I wanted to tell you. [Random rant. Sorry, not sorry].
Before I went to go to this new division that they were building, I only went and saw one house in person. Iit was a really good experience. Because online it looks so much bigger than it was and my sister even taught me. This [story] is kind of scrambled because it was a really emotional experience. But she loved telling me different things that you should look for when you’re looking online. Or they do things to make rooms bigger, or they stretch pictures. And so [when I saw this first house] I was like, “Oh gosh, this is so small like this won’t do.” I also didn’t like the location.
When you’re shopping online for a house you think, “Oh, I know that street that’s down the road, but some of the streets can go on for 40 minutes on either side. So it doesn’t mean that it’s going to be in the area that you want.
Anyway, back to the story. I went to see this house fell in love with and the guy said “Hey, let’s do this.”
“Yeah, you know what I’m gonna do it.”
So I filled out the application sent over all the information and the lady called me and told me that I didn’t qualify. Ironically, with this being only the second house that I’d seen, um, it hit me hard. And it didn’t hit me hard, because I loved the house so much, I did I think it was great and I would have been happy there. It hit me so hard, because I said, “If I didn’t get approved for that, then this probably isn’t going to happen for me right now.”
I was at that point where it was March. And I needed to let my apartment know by May that I would be moving out and it was like, “Okay, am I going to have a house to move into? What is going to happen?”
It was a lot of like what-ifs in the air.
It hit me so hard. I cried when I’m at home I and my sister told me, “Dia, you can’t like let this get you upset. You’ve been working so hard. I know you can do this.”
Me and this [loan officier] lady went back and forth for a few days. And then that Saturday, I actually came to see the division that I ended up moving into!
What was really funny about this was I was so discouraged [driving there]. And I was thinking, “They’re probably not going to approve me either.” So negative. But because I have that support system, I kept going.
I think that’s really, really important to note because everybody needs people. And I am one of those, “I’m a strong, independent black woman type woman who doesn’t like to need people.” But the truth is, at the end of the day, we do need support. We do need love. We do need siblings, we do need parents, friends, coaches, biz, friends, whatever it is, we have this need for human connection. And sometimes we also need that support system, as I said before, to teach us things that we didn’t know ourselves and to make our path a little bit smoother.
I drove all the way out here [to see the houses]. I showed up into the office the sales agent was like “Are you, Dia?”
The first words out of my mouth?
“I don’t want to live here.”
He was like, “um, why?”
And I told him, “It’s too far.”
So he shows me two houses. I went back and forth. I made him show me both of the floor plans twice. And I decided on the one that I ended up getting, I filled out the paperwork there in the office. And [he goes back in the office then comes back and] he was like, “Okay, you’ve been approved.”
Girl! I was like, OH MY GOD, I was like, “Hold on, I had to call my sister.”
She answered and I said, “Bitchhhhh guess what?” I was like, “I did it, I got approved.”
It was one of those moments that I will always remember. And of course, she was the first person that I wanted to tell, she was the first person I told.
Having that support of her, even the pride I can feel that she has for me. It really made all the difference. And now I’m just talking about the story and gushing.
I had the support system of having someone who knew what to look for, who knew what questions to ask. So even when I was in the process of actually closing, she would tell me stuff like, “Okay, make sure that you ask them this, find out what the warranty is on that when you do your walkthrough, make sure you’re paying a lot of attention because they’re going to give you a lot of information,” So many different things that made such a huge difference. It made my life so much easier in something that is obviously very, very stressful.
Your support systems are super important.
I know I kind of gave away the ending. But the next step of the methodology is to take action.
So you looked at the reality, you looked at the challenges, you made your goals, you’ve decided who’s in your support system and how they can help you reach that goal. Then you take action so obviously, when you made the action plan and you looked at all this stuff, you were like “Okay, this is what I’m going to do,” but then you actually have to do it.
When I decided I needed to pay certain things down and I needed to save this [amount], I needed to figure out x y&z, I started taking action on those items. Even when I felt like I wanted to give up and it wasn’t going to happen. I said, “You know what? I’m still gonna take action. I’m still gonna move forward.” And that is why I was able to move into this house that I absolutely love. And it’s been almost six months, probably six months at the time that this episode will air. And there are still moments that I just look around and I’m like, “I did it. I did it.”
That is the seven-step methodology in practice. That was my experience this year with it.
I want to point out that this didn’t happen overnight. Realistically, it wasn’t going to happen overnight. I decided in March 2020, that I wanted to buy a house in 2021, I ended up signing the contract to buy the house in March 2021. So literally a year later. Goals take time. But because I had looked at all the variables, I’d been constantly taking action, because a little by little becomes a lot. I was able to hit this goal in a year. And I was doing stuff for A full year to make this happen. So things don’t happen necessarily overnight. But if I hadn’t taken these actions, if I hadn’t leaned into my support system, if I hadn’t gotten real about my current reality and where I was at and what I couldn’t, couldn’t do, I probably would still be at my apartment or maybe a different apartment. And I wouldn’t be a homeowner right now.
Side note; Your goal does not have to be buying a house. It can be a business or personal goal. What is it that’s inside of you that we can get out and just spread your magic in the world? I get really, really excited when I talk about The Balanced Business Experience because I know how powerful it is.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
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