The fantasy of the Disney Prince is long gone for us millennial women instead we get Mr. Not so Tinder, Fuckboy and the Catfish.
As more people have gravitated to searching for a mate online, expectations and success have seemed to decrease as far as I can tell.
Busy with being trying to pay off student loans, make time for friends, start a side hustle, hit the gym, call grandma at least once a week and God knows what else, we can only seem to locate romance online.
While there are the occasional happy endings (I personally know a few married couples who met of free dating apps) there are a lot of toads to wade through to get to a prince or hell just a guy that isn’t a total creeper.
I have been there and I am glad I’m not now! Here are some thoughts girls have online dating:
Here are 8 thoughts girls have online dating:
Getting to know people is so exhausting.
Maybe we are just so used to instant gratification but having to regurgitate, what I do for a living, where I’m from, what I like to do for fun and the little joys and tragedies that make me who I am, to 5 random dudes a day is exhausting! The predictive text on my phone knew that following “I’m the marketing…” next words are “director at a commercial real estate company and a freelance writer” without me typing it. This is why so many people go back to their ex’s because they can avoid all the mundane life story factoids….
I’ve heard more friend say, “Why can’t they just know these things about me?”
I’m way less shallow in person.
It’s been scientifically proven that online dating gives people the impression of more options in the dating world and causes them to be more selective in who they choose to engage with on dating apps.
There would be moments I’d be quick matching and after the 6th or 7th no I’d think, “I would have probably talked to him at the bar.” But since I was shopping online for a potential mate I wanted the best deal swiping can buy.
Is this really all that’s out there?
While you can feel overwhelmed by the amount of choices, it doesn’t make them good choices. You’ve scanned through 15 different singles in your area and you aren’t attracted to a single one. A lot of studies have assumed that the large amount of options have made us picky on who we consider for a mate but let’s be honest it seems you are swimming in a sea of duds.
Ohh he liked me too! But I’m not going to message him first.
I am all for women empowerment and making the first move but online dating makes it 10 times as scary. What if he only swiped right cause he was drunk, what if he just swipes right on everyone? Etc.
Plus having the cute guy you liked on Tinder message you first is the millennial equivalent of getting a “Will you go out with me? Check Yes or No” note.
Favorite shows: Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, Breaking Bad…way to be super basic….I wonder if Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal and How to Get Away With Murder make me sound basic?
You see so many profiles and after a while, they just seem like carbon copies.
Oh, you like Game of Thrones? So does everyone with access to HBO! You just want to see one profile that makes you feel like you’ve met a kindred spirit. Then you turn it on yourself…is my profile a carbon copy of all the other girls on here?
Really that’s the picture you’re going with?
Be it a picture of him flipping the camera the bird, a photo of him in the world’s most embarrassing Halloween costume, or standing with 7 hooters servers… it feels like some guys are just trying to turn women away.
It’s like, “Seriously are you even trying? Is this a joke account?”
Why does he look like a different person in each picture?
There is no logical reason for a guy to look like a different person in each of his photos. You don’t want to like that…you don’t know what you’re getting.
Which is a recent one, not to be shallow but no one is swiping right and left based on your list of favorite books.
His profile says his ideal girl should have a fashion sense and be able to run in heels. What the fuck am I running from?
Statements like these are almost so off-putting they are intriguing. Is he a spy? Is he planning to kill me but wants a chase first. Is he a vampire? Are you going to try to dress me? Are you trying to be the next Kimya?
Face it my fellow millennials, while our parents have bad dating stories we will have to tell future generations about our disasters in swiping.
Now you tell me:
Have you ever online dated?
How did it go?
What’s the worst story you have or have heard?
What’s the craziest thing you’ve seen on a profile?
Katie
I have been convinced into creating an online profile a few times and I usually last a week before backing out and deleting. Repeat x3. Well, it was brought to my attention that I’m not utilizing a resource as an opportunity to meet new people in a new city where I don’t have friends and don’t go anywhere but work, yoga, the grocery store and home. So…I’m diving in again. I’m not even 24 hours in and I’m definitely overwhelmed…we’ll see how long this lasts. ha!
Dia
Haha get luck out there! There are some success stories.
Shann Eva
I did Online dating years ago when Match.com was popular. I did it for a month, then decided it wasn’t for me, but messaged one guy before I got off the site. We ended up meeting with a group of friends, dating, and he is now my husband. We’ve been married 7 years and have 3 boys. 🙂
Aishwarya S
I have heard a lot about it but never tried. This sounds really hilarious though!
Jenny
This made me laugh! I am about to get married but I did my fair share of Tindering prior to settling down with my now fiance haha.
xoxo, Jenny
Clare Speer
Wow – great points… I am older and have been married for years (but have young adults probably about your age) and been out of the game for a very long time! BUT – my friends (who are mostly in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s have tried online dating. Some of them have some very, very “amusing” stories and it’s truly a bit funny – but I do have one or two friends that actually met their spouses online. So I guess it just depends, my friends have “mixed” reviews on online websites and dating.
Chantal
This is so funny and so true! I am glad my dating days are over because online dating wasn’t easy.
Dia
Haha I met my guy on tinder over a year ago but it does get frustrating.
Angie
Haha yes! These are so so so true. I’ve online dated for many years and I HATE it. But I just kept coming back to it because-what else do you do? Luckily, this time it seems to have worked out for me.
Bella B (xoxoBella)
I have never tried online dating but I can imagine what it would be like!
Kari
“Will you go out with me? Check Yes or No” note. Weren’t those the best!?!!?
Kari
http://www.sweetteasweetie.com
candy
No way no how glad I’m passed that dating.
Justine Y @ Little Dove
I have never online dated, but I’ve heard some good success stories, like Shann’s! That’s so cool!
Justine Y @ Little Dove
That’s awesome Shann! I didn’t know that!
Ashleigh
This is great! I especially love the running in heels lol! Look, I’ve been married for 10 year and the idea of online dating scares the heck out of me! However, I met my hubs on Myspace back in the day! Thanks for sharing this, it was a great read!!
Shane
I have a pact with myself NEVER to message the guy first… It’s like I expressed my interest, cliche and old fashioned, but I want the guy to make the first move! It just makes you feel special 🙂
Jenn Slavich
Oh Dia, I have to say, I’m so glad I did not have to online date. I’m a little older so there was no such thing until about 3 years after I got married. I’ve gone on some horror story dates but I didn’t have that fear of someone better like there is now. The “shopping” in my opinion has gotten so much harder then ever before. I think you totally nailed it by saying that you are shopping so you want the perfect one. Thanks so much for sharing and good luck!!
Angie Scheie
This is awesome lol. So I married my husband off of E Harmony, and that was right before Tinder exploded. It was my first online dating experience and the only platform I used. We called it “the gauntlet” because with that site you have to jump through so many hoops before actually meeting. The thought of Tinder makes me a little anxious and I don’t envy those out there right now at all. When it comes down to it though, most of us have to wade through some (or a lot) of toads to get to our prince. I met my first husband (such a long, Shonda Rhimes-worthy story) at a bar and that ended up being a literal nightmare so you never know!!
Audrey
On-line dating was very time consuming when I used on-line dating. I felt like it was similar to looking for a full time job. It took a lot of energy and does not yield a lot of returns!
Amber Starr
The running in heels made me lol? I’ve never online dated and feel like I’d hate it and be super awkward. Haha.
Dia
Haha sometimes it is awesome and you meet someone great and then other times it’s this lol
Dia
Haha I’m actually working on a post about that. Dating online or in person is just hard nowadays.
Dia
haha Shondra Rhimes! Yes call her up and she can use it lol
Dia
Haha oh I’m not online dating anymore. I actually met my guy on tinder nearly 2 years ago but have lots of memories and friends still in the cross fires of it lol
Dia
Haha then stay away from Bumble. I have friends using it and the girl messages the guy first.
Dia
Yeah there is good and bad for sure. This article more focuses on the humorous side of the negative side lol
deasonstacy
Online dating sometimes give positive results, sometimes negative, but you have very beautifully explained all the thoughts of girls that date online.
cori
My husband’s best friend tried online dating and of all the people this site paired him with, it paired him with my husband’s ex-gf whom he despised! We still tease him about it today.
Kusum
Hahaha this is hilarious, Dia! I found my husband through a matrimony site, not sure if I can call it online dating or not, but have heard so many funny and horror stories from people who have. You had me at ‘you like GOT, so does everyone with access to HBO’, ROFL, and the running in heels is a killer.
xx, Kusum | http://www.sveeteskapes.com
Roxy
Courtesy of the internet/social media the dating game has changed so much in such a short period of time (I’m talking within the last like 4 years). I guess my relationship has shielded me from the world that is dating, but I must say it seems more stressful than it does fun. I feel like online dating would basically be a part-time job…you have to sift through potential suitors, stalk them on other networks to be sure they aren’t psychos are catfishing you, and then you have to actually try to get to know this person you’ve never actually laid eyes on. sigh….I’m tired just thinking about it.
Dia
Yeah, I’m like never again. I tell me friends “If this one doesn’t work out I’m just gonna be single” lol
Dia
Haha it’s funny but also kinda sad because it’s so true.
Dia
Haha exactly. You take the good with the bad.
Dia
Haha it’s funny no matter how big your city is that is bound to happen.
Dia
That’s not fair Ashleigh, you guys have this amazing love at first sight story lol
Dia
I agree!
Dia
Simple and straight to the point.
Dia
There are some for sure 🙂
Dia
You aren’t missing much lol
Dia
I am still so happy for you Angie! Thanks for stopping by.
Dia
Haha it was literally like job hunting.
Dia
Haha I’m curious if you met online lol
Dia
It makes for good stories.
Emily from SGSB
Online dating is so exhausting – I feel like it has to be a full time job! Also, I get frustrated with it pretty easily, so I delete my account and the create a new one a month or two later….
Dia
I have a few friends who do that. It’s crazy people say things to you online they would never walk up and say to a woman at a bar.
Cori
I have never online dated. Met my husband at college. Hubby’s best friend tried online dating and ended up getting paired up with Hubby’s ex from high school, whom they both hated. We still tease him about this.
Dia
Haha you’re lucky cause it sucks.