So unbeknownst to me August 7th was Sisters day. While I missed this (made up internet) holiday, I did think it was a good time to reflect on my own relationships with my oldest sister, which has changed A LOT! In the past 2 ½ decades, honestly, it’s just really changed a lot in the last year since my grandma passed away last year on August 25th.
What a difference a year makes
Yeah, it was a year ago today I got the call that broke my heart in a totally foreign way to me.
It’s crazy to me that she has been gone a year. It seemed like she went from bad to worse to gone so quickly that last year and now she’s been gone a year. It really is crazy.
I miss that lady every day. I’m at a loss for words (which is a big deal, if you know me.)
My grandma was the foundation of our family. Serious in some ways she raised us all.
My grandma had a hard shell. We used to jokingly say she was “too mean to die.” And she used to tell us, “You gone miss me when I’m gone.” man was she right.Clearly coming to Starbucks to write this was a good idea as I am in the corner fighting tears.
I could sit here and regurgitate the details of her eulogy or tell you two decades worth of lessons she taught me or the different phrases she used that would have been a perfect Youtube video called “Shit southern grandmas say.” Like “I’ll slap ya blind.” But I think the one thing I’ll focus on is how she brought my sister and me together in her death.
A sister is a friend for life…..Or something like that
I don’t know about the first decade or so but a sister is nature’s given friend. I could say that we are different people but the truth is we just didn’t get along. There was probably some animosity between the fact that my biological father was an asshole and I always felt like she was the favorite but that literally all comes out in the wash now.
I mean we’d have our nice moments but it wasn’t really until this past year that I considered her a friend. We weren’t outlandishly mean to each other…okay maybe in Vegas. We just had different interests, a five-year difference and both a healthy helping of my grandmother’s stubbornness.
Look out for each other
My grandmother would always tell us to look out for each other. Looking back now I know she did always look out for me. Picking me up at Sonic at 1am when I got off of work. Letting me sweet talk her into paying for dinner.
I think when my granny passed that kind of pain subconsciously made us hold on to each other because it was kind of like holding on to her in the parts of each of that we got from her.
It’s crazy because now anytime I have a bad day I know if I call her I’ll feel better. I know one day she had posted on Facebook some super basic melodramatic thing about needing to fight (sorry Alicia but that shit was a little basic, love you) and I called her, we ended up spending an hour and a half on the phone, ended up talking about my problems instead…. On the plus side, the drama happening in my life at that particular time gave her a really good laugh.
Sisters are your first friend. I’m going to go ahead and call bullshit on that. I’m sure for some of you that’s the case but I can tell you for a fact my first friend was Ashley McCoy. I think a more accurate assessment would be your sister is your first test in patience, in compromise, in sharing, and in the capability to love someone you think you hate. We may not have been besties but we always had each other’s back and we are constantly teaching each other.
So a year after my grandmother’s death I can say I am grateful for my sister.
~Rest in Peace Granny~